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Law enforcement:

If you are seeing this, it is because I initiated contact with your department. This is the best way I know for you to access evidence to use to keep me and others safe.

Quick Background:

I manage a program for Houston Area Community Services (HACS) that tries to engage the transgender population for the purposes of HIV prevention.
I first met Lee in early 2006 when he showed up at a support group I ran for HACS.
Almost immediately, Lee began calling my work cell at all hours day and night from early in the morning until 3 and 4 AM. He got my work cell off my business card.
He got a membership on the website I created to conduct targeted community outreach: transhouston.com
He almost immediately began verbally attacking people online. I tried to manage his behavior and ultimately had to ban him and his IP from the site in mid to late 2006.
In mid to late 2006, he threatened to beat me to death with a baseball bat. At this point my Director banned him from all HACS property and activities.
He continued to call me around the clock via my cell phone until my job gave me a new number and changed my business cards so that they did not have my cell on it.
Since 2006 and until 3/3/2008, I've not said anything to him - no emails - no contact in any way. Even so, he has continued to try to maintain a connection with me by sending me emails and using proxies to gain access to transhouston.com. In emails and he has stated:

He wants to be me

He hates me

He blames me for the bad things that happened to him

He intends to kill people

He intends on harming himself

Supposedly, he moved from Houston to San Francisco, CA a few months ago, but claims to be moving back soon.

Prior Complaint Information:

From Me: # 176176606M Officer Vela of the 3B18E Unit of HPD took the report and it was referred to Homicide.

From Me: # T08002246 for SFPD

Sean's Report: # 06-28626, Pasadena Police

NOTE: Sean was volunteering under the program I supervise for Houston Area Community Services.

3/4/08 - The Houston FBI office was made aware of Lee and provided all the information on this page.

3/5/08 - The Houston lawyer, Phyllis Frye was consulted about what could be done about Lee.

3/8/08 - The Houston FBI office was made aware of Lee and provided all the information on this page.

3/9/08 - An online report was filed with the main FBI office. They made aware of Lee and provided all the information on this page... Complaint Id: I0803092038269922

Lee's Information:

Name:	Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Email:	mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
Mailing Address:	PO Box 425081, San Francisco, CA 94142
Website:	http://www.leemcg.com/
Yahoo messenger:	mlgaetjens
AIM/AOL messenger:	mlgaetjens2038
Phone:	(713) 578-0016
Blog:	http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com
Photobucket:	http://s121.photobucket.com/albums/o211/mlgaetjens/
TX DL:	23861246

Prior Contacts/Emails/Posts:

NOTE: I have many other emails, but they were sent to my work email address and - unfortunately - cannot be shared with any non-HACS entity without a court order.

11/4/2008: Transhouston Posts:

Tue 5:18 pm » leighmcg » goodbye

Tue 5:18 pm » leighmcg » im sorry dammit, but your lack or respnocne has left me no choice to do it

Tue 5:17 pm » leighmcg » if you want to toss me away, thats fine with me, if im not welcome in where i came out, and found myself, if im going to be exiled, than theres no point in living

Tue 5:17 pm » leighmcg » i just want to go home or i promise you i will kill myself.

Tue 5:16 pm » leighmcg » ill tell you what if you want to shut me up ill give a exact mlocation even a number where you can have the local law enforcment agency lock me up,

Tue 5:15 pm » leighmcg » ill fedex my belogings to tg center, oh the missing rice studynt and i was a big uh admirer of us girls that go str8, and also was just a politcal friend, i spotted him but im not a snitch, even thorugh there was an reward,

Tue 5:14 pm » leighmcg » i dont even care about trying to hide, i want to return you have good reason to not want me around, or to lock me up, but ive changed, i was scared when christrnm reached out to me, im telling you i want to come home but be welcome or have support or i will kill myself here

Tue 5:13 pm » leighmcg » i mean i just want to come home to fimmualr faces and places than have to start over, i take accountablity, hell my current sponsor went to high school with tim brookenver

Tue 5:12 pm » leighmcg » yo dee hey lilly

Tue 5:12 pm » alan » I think if you were anywhere else you already would have Dee...

Tue 5:12 pm » Lillycath » well, eventually "the mask" isn't necessary

Tue 5:12 pm » leighmcg » my own father rejcted me, your free to have hpd do with me, i have no place to call home, when i get there, hell i might show up at the potlock but peacefuly i want help, it appers you have to be down on your luck i can be a test case btw i voted in my 3rd presidental election for obama, i didnt vote bush again

Tue 5:11 pm » Dee » hrrmmm

Tue 5:11 pm » Dee » and to think I'm getting this with no makeup and boring clothes.. I think if I worked on it a little I could swing it to 100%

Tue 5:10 pm » leighmcg » im going to come back, whatever you dicide to do with me, i have no furute, and im home sick

Tue 5:10 pm » alan » back...

Tue 5:10 pm » leighmcg » i have something i want to share

Tue 5:09 pm » leighmcg » hey

10/17/2008: Personal Blog Post:

* To do a search on his personal blog for entries about me, click HERE

Life, anger and the power of prayer to my own fucking personal jesus
Friday, October 17, 2008

Slept well last night, awoke early this morning. Took a short and quick shower, but through. Wrote some code last night, my Interview at Larkin Street Youth Services went ok, I felt, they could not hire me because of some of my background at that location, but seemed interested in hireling me at another location as a Youth Peer Counselor.
The same thing I applied for, composing a Thank You Letter both to the individual I interviewed with and have a few other items on the agenda today.
I think I am going to vote early today. As well as a few other items on my agenda. I also recently had a spiritual awakening and with all the excitement for my interview yesterday I forgot about my therapy appointment, and other things.

My truck had some work done, I should be getting it insured in California soon, it appears being a Pizza driver and messenger is again in my future.
My spirituality is growing more and more for my inner personal, and being less of a bitch. I am just tired I have no meaning and just am a bit of a bitch today. I had a good AA meeting this morning at 7am at our lady of safeway.

I slept well last night, and continue to grow, and prosper as a individual and grow more and more in life, and interpersonal security and development, and work through my furious anger and the dark side of the force, and be a good cadet.

Spoke to some friends from my support group in Berkeley at the pacific center, I also disclosed to them about some of my past transgressions of Transsexual support groups, small world one of my friends girlfriends does business with Phyllis Frye.

I’m ashamed of what happed in Houston, and I did to others, perhaps I just need to remain faithful vigilante and true to keep my vigilante feelings away, and be strong and only good will become of myself.
I still even mange to get around the IPs, and port and proxy blocking christen implemented to keep me out, being naughty is so much more fun even if lurking.

10/14/2008: Transhouston Posts:

(H)(U)leigh (98.96.98.230)
after I get my affairs in order you need not be bothered with my whereabouts as Ill be in davey jones\' locker, after I take my leap of faith or a dive simualr to thelma and louise I hate california, I want to come back, or be deported call the fucking FBI have them chrage me I want to be in a country more accepting, I want to be deported I want out.
(H)(U)leigh ()
if you want have them call me we have each others cell phones its not like im hideing any information 415-678-0859, I only want to talk pecefuly, I wanted help and soberity your wrong to write me off like this
(H)(U)leigh ()
here california drivers lic #E2858495 LEIGH MCINNIS GAETJENS 27 FEMALE 1551 VISTA STREET OAKLAND, CA
(H)(U)leigh ()
I WAS FUCKING BORN IN OAKLAND
(H)(U)leigh ()
I hate californ ia as well as louisaina, im fucking on the streets and grrbae, im going to my electo apointment have oakland pd come a rrest me at at 4331 Piedmont Ave, Oakland, CA 94611
(H)(U)leigh ()
4331 Piedmont Ave, Oakland, CA 94611
(H)(U)leigh ()
send me to jail deport me to europe i hate this country
(H)(U)leigh ()
call hpd right now send oakland pd, its a 10 am apointment calnifronai time
(H)(U)leigh ()
its a 30 min session
(H)(U)leigh ()
you can get me
(H)(U)leigh ()
all i want is love, and to make ammends, i dislike the community here, i want to come home
(H)(U)leigh ()
yes I do know whats wrong, ia sked for help in houston and was turned down, i want to come back i have no community here or there im meaning less
(H)(U)leigh (98.96.98.230)
all i have is aa and faith
(H)(U)leigh ()
im fucking homelss and yes i did this to myself
(H)(U)leigh ()
but at least im woman enough to be fucking hoenst with you about my fuckups
(H)(U)leigh ()
i want more than anything just to hug christan im fucking horrible and angry about what i did there, im fucking tired of this cyber war game crap
(H)(U)leigh (98.96.98.230)
look im not going to hurt myself, or anyone else, i just want to come home
(H)(U)leigh ()
i dont like the drugs, gangs, and community here
(H)(U)leigh ()
but i dont have a home, or anyeone else or loved ones
(H)(U)leigh ()
im sorry i crashed the party and allmost clobbered here, im sober i remeber a lot, but still have gaps, i abused my hrt, drinking and my body
(H)(U)leigh ()
its 15 monthes yesterday
(H)(U)leigh ()
i dont have supportive family in lousioana i came here ebcuase my dad and aunt but i havent seen them in year ive been homelss form 1-6-2008
(H)(U)leigh ()
i walked away form everything i ahd becuase transtion was importynt to me, and fuck everything else if thats not self change than what is
(H)(U)leigh (98.96.98.230)
christan, lilly, and others just try andf censor me
(H)(U)leigh ()
WELCOME ME BACK AND ILL ACT RIGHT OTHER WISE SENF ME TO FEDRIAL PRISON, RAY HILL is why i got sober, i was going to commit suicde on my soberity date
(H)(U)leigh ()
7-13-2007 off the hacs office building roof
(H)(U)leigh ()
but i got sober insstead and left 1-6-2008 walked away form everything i ahd to stay sober
(H)(U)leigh ()
ans hope for A Better life
(H)(U)leigh ()
i have no friends im tired i have to get to my apointment call cvhristan and have the police come arrest me i want to leave the country and be deported and agree enever to have any contact with you, houston is my family is where i came out and got addicted
(H)(U)leigh ()
houston is home i have no other ties there than the glbt communhnoity and my granmdothe rand fmaily ias all dea do r dieing
(H)(U)leigh ()
and you slap the book in my face, im going to yusen the bathroom than walk to my doctors apointment
(H)(U)leigh ()
have oakland pd come arrest me
(H)(U)leigh ()
inside my electrosit office at 10:30
(H)(U)leigh ()
when tyhe apointment is over
(H)(U)leigh ()
send me to jail or let me come home!
(H)(U)leigh ()
welcome me home rather
(H)(U)leigh ()
bye
(H)(U)leigh ()
www.leemcg.com
(H)(U)leigh ()
my blog site and pain
(H)(U)leigh ()
and photos
(H)(U)leigh ()
im signing off i want to be depotred call the fbi RIGHT NOW
(H)(U)leigh ()
find a euro country thats more transfriendly and allow me to move
(H)(U)leigh ()
bye bye bye

09/28/2008: Email

Honestly, I want to return to space city. But theres no point in
returning if I have no community or support. Id like a 2nd chance
-Leigh.

Leigh "Lee" McInnis Gaetjens
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(415) 678-0859

WWW.LEEMCG.COM - Loud & proud
"Born Californian, Raised Cajun (With Gravy & Lagniappe), Came Out Texan"

09/13/2008: Email

I want help, I dont like it here, If I have support and resocues I want to come back to Houston. I needed grattuide and humility I have it. Im sorry for past transgressions and hope they could be overlooked as I have come a long way. Please see if you can help me. You no longer work for hacs, and I know you still care. Let me come home. I don't want to come where I wont be welcomed, or have support.

I texed you this morning I'm scared.

--
Leigh "Lee" McInnis Gaetjens
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016 & (415) 678-0859

WWW.LEEMCG.COM

09/13/2008: Email

I hope places made out well and in good spirtis and you all are safe.

I have not had the best experances, but can tell you I hope you are well.

--
Leigh "Lee" McInnis Gaetjens
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016 & (415) 678-0859

WWW.LEEMCG.COM

09/13/2008: Email

If I can be of service, let me know and I shall return for duty, as It is my honor to be of service.

On Sat, Sep 13, 2008 at 12:25 PM, Leigh McInnis Gaetjens <mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com> wrote:

I hope places made out well and in good spirtis and you all are safe.

I have not had the best experances, but can tell you I hope you are well. If I can be of service to you, I can be there shortly, Just Let Me know, and please inform me. add me to any service realte

--
Leigh "Lee" McInnis Gaetjens
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016 & (415) 678-0859

WWW.LEEMCG.COM

08/23/2008: Email

I'm afraid of relaspeing, Last time I drank 7-13-2007 was around pride, and my move. I was wrong, Im sorry I just am a bit well emotional on step $4 with saudi s, and working on day at a time. I didnt mean that, I just am afarid, If I can;t keep sober. I have deicded the only altertive is self-termantion. I drank around 7-1-2007 at the hera event when you "reached out with the olive branch" and drank in fear, IM sorry. I am deeply shameful for whom I beame between 2005-2007 and even a few bad spots but stilm sober after my soberity date.

If I can't ever keep a sponro ands get through these steps I would rather self-termation than to go back out and drink and end up in jail, or else where. I want alife, again right now my life isnt very galmoours.

IM sorry I spamed the shout box, I also if your willing would like to talk, Im just angry and afraid. and also sometimes feel alone.

I hope you had a good vacation and have a peaceful flight back.

Caio-

--
Leigh "Lee" McInnis Gaetjens
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016 & (415) 678-0859
WWW.LEEMCG.COM

08/10/2008: Email

Leigh "Lee" McInnis Gaetjens

PO Box 425081 San Francisco, CA 94142

(713) 578-0016 www,leemcg.com * leemcg@leemcg.com (415) 678-0859

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Houston Area Transgender Community Center

/ Community Crossroads Foundation

Attn: Christen Williams

713 Fargo

Houston, Texas 77006

Dear Christen,

I was wrong in my transgressions, I committed against you during my days of drinking, I drank because I was afraid, I was angry at myself, I hurt and I was jellies of you, and others. I drank because I wanted to die, and was scared.

I left Houston gave away walked away from a lot. I realized I needed humility and gratitude; I left at very short notice. I left because I could not admit defeat; and poetesses and I was ashamed of past transgressions I committed against the Houston Transgender Community, I scared others and wanted others to suffer as I did.

I left because I needed gratitude. I want to return, I don't like the ramped Drug use and drinking here and tolerance. But I have nothing to come home to. I cant go to my family for my sanity. I am very pleased you achived your goals. With the TG Center

Las t Summer (2007) when you reached out to me, I was afraid, I found the bar stool. Again. Very briefly. I am tried of suffering, my soul hurting. Maybe I needed to say I'm sorry and actuly mean it, Maybe I would like your assistance in returning to Houston if I have a community and place to cov home to that's safe and supportive.

I don't want to be abusive to others, myself or even be self-destructing, I want help, and a chance of a life. I am asking you for a chance something that has taken a long time to do.I am very ashamed and scared of my past transgressions to various individuals known and unknown, I am tired of my lies, using individuals to achieve what I want. I don't like it here, and don't want to run away anymore.

I want to come home if I have someone to help me and come home to.

You attempted to be kind to me, and reach out well beyond you should have, I was mean and I also admit I was wrong.

I need it, help. In addition, I am willing to work with you,, I also trust you. Moreover, am willing to follow your guidelines.

IM tired of being sick and tired, and I don't want to drink anymore, I'm just tired, I'm to the point to where I lookfowatrd to the other side.

I want recovery and sanity or I want death, I have some affairs to get in order, or I can return to my mother of nature. Alternatively, Houston and recovery.

Sobriety Date 7-13-2007

I look forward toward working together,

Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens

from NANCY FORD <nancy@outsmartmagazine.com>
to gypsyrose1972@gmail.com
date Tue, May 27, 2008 at 10:23 AM
subject Fyi-
hide details May 27

Reply

Hiya Cris - Long time no see - How the heck are ya?

Wanted to share something with you that I ran across on the 'net today:

http://mlgaetjens.blogspot.com/2008/05/monday-may-26-2008-i-recently-found-out.html

Based on things I've read by (and about) Lee on various listervs, I thot you
might want to know about this.

Hope all is well - see you soon, I'm sure -

MONDAY, MAY 26, 2008

Monday, May 26, 2008

I recently found out something about myself, I don’t know myself. All of my life others have inspired my ideas, personality and individually, I am in some physical pain, My back aches, My head aches, I had another sober memory loss last night again. I have blackouts and unaccounted time and experiences.

It scares the shit out of me, loosing time, and being lost in space, feeling dizzy and lightheaded, I look forward to the doctor’s appointment more so. I also can move on, I think, I’m still so unhappy, it’s not that I can’t let go, its I don’t know how to accept myself, love myself, I am happier with my self-image and body, but I am insecure, I don’t know how to be a posti9ve influence as a transgender-woman, I don’t know what I like or dislike, I don’t know who I am, I found that with booze, in various Houston, Dallas, Austin, New Orleans, baton Rouge, and San Francisco bars during a week long black out that I had a flashback.

I don’t know how to ask for help, I can deal with people and :wing it, but truth be told I have mixed feelings and emotions and I don’t know much, about me, myself and I. I know what I want, I know where, I want to go, but I do not know much of that beyond my inner self.

I don’t know what I like or dislike, it’s sort of like breaking free of the matrix, I am a liar, I don’t know myself, I don’t know what I agree with, I feel drastically shocked with the change in culture, I mean I like it here, but I don’t, I’m not sure who I am.

Lately I’ve been feeling if I can’t learn to love and live again, I would rather self-terminate my suffering, possibly by a self-inflected gunshot wound, possibly jumping off a river oaks office tower or high-rise parking garage in Houston, or maybe just taking a drive off a cliff or something.

But obviously I don’t want that, I almost got death, and something, someone, the flash of light, my mother, and other deceased family members, I want to be with, I honestly have been ashamed I feel banished from Houston, My drinking and self-destructive actions ran me out of the Houston TG community. It hurts, I hate most of them here, I wish I was welcome, I feel home sick, I mean I love SFO, I wish I could be given a chance, but I am not welcome there.

I feel as if I don’t want pity, charity or handout, but I want a chance, I want to have love and compassion for myself, others, education and employment, I am Kind inside.

Christen did so much for me, even when I was so nasty and mean and hateful, and I can’t publicly admit it here, It’s not even about the attraction to her, I hurt, I bleed in pain, similar to how batman became batman, I bleed in agony like a vampire, my soul burns with the essence of time.

I feel old I am 27, lost, hurt, and resentful. I know I need to lift my spirits up in intellectuality, and I will attract more positive affirming actions, but I can’t. I’ve thought of late, that death, after a year sober, or maybe I’ll push that up to 18 months, or maybe 2 years.

I’ve had enough to drink, I am tired of attempting to take things such as Prozac (which made me insane) and other things which made me sick, sleepy or drunk, or stabling over, or drugs such as sera quill, which I had an auto collision as a result.

I am sick and tired of feeling despite I push myself so hard, crashing on folks beds, sleeping on peoples SROs floors, shelters, and sometimes hotel rooms due to colds, flu or sickness. I am still sick in my heart, and head, I think highly of christen, yet I fear her, I can let go, I did, but I have nightmares about just how much I hurt.

My understanding I don’t stand a chance in hell, Trans folks are so cool, nice and lookout for each other, I became drunk, violent, and threating, and abusive even with christens kindness, and others. I fear of going back into those actions.

I feel I am held to utterly high standards as myself, and viewed by my family as a fuckup, and failure but they love me, I feel others feel I have no future, I feel I am a burden to loved ones, and might become such to future generations.

I miss my mother, I wish she was here with me, and could help me, and others. I love myself, and feeling. She and my father were both pretty labial, I even shut my father out. I shut myself out and away, maybe I am prepared to give up with a leap of faith, obviously, I almost had the death by law enforcement epxeracne, and I don’t like meeting that or the drama.

I resent the fact my mother left my feather I grew up in Harvey, LA and other Louisiana and southern towns, I like the weather but because of my drinking the cold aches my numours scars, tazer marks, my forklift accident, and bones and joins form years of hot summers in blue-shit jobs.

I struggle to put food in my mouth some days, I clasped due to my eating disorder, I admit fault, It’s not about not having food, its food that deals with my unique dietary requirements, and sometimes, I just don’t feel I deserve a basic human need.

I walked away from a lot I had, It was made clear to me, that I was not to be allowed at any Houston or HACS or any event endorsed with the Transgender community in Houston, It was made clear to me, that I was unwelcome, and if I attended any events the police would be called, and I would have a restraining order against me, I respect that I did this to myself, I left because of that.

I don’t like to share the hardships I have endured, but I realized finding my true self and inner peace was more important than anything else, I walked away from all, for the simple life, maybe I’ll die on the streets, shelters, friends sofa, or just from burnout or self-termation.

My truck, family, martial things are important but myself, I don’t want to bottom out, the fear of being old, on the streets babbling to myself alone, in panic and terror is wrong, the fear of dying like carniamby, the fear of not seeing violence, drama, abuse, or war, or destruction is normal to me, being open and accepted scares me a lot.

When the police kick someone’s ass I like to watch, when something catches on fire, I like to watch, I learned to accept myself with brutality against me, committing against others, and it is normal to me.

,

I still have nightmares about the gulf coast, New Orleans, Wal-Mart (Enrique, hennery, victor, Carl, elm dean, john, James, tino, )

All I want is equal treatment, but I feel old, despite 27 is still relatively young, its well getting old. It hurts when your family members who you love, and love you don’t support gay marrage, don’t agree with my follish destrive ways but more ironcly still love me. I don’t know anymore. Im the last of my family tree, Ive accepted maybe just maybe Ill die soon, here in sanfranicso, age 28 seems unreachable.

People find me intretsing I get numbers meet folks, than I crawl into my bat cave, and Im not victm, but I just want the suffering to end, and I think it will, even if at my own terms, on my way. I don’t contact them I self destruct, and well sometimes I just quit calling, or don’t call them or call them back.

My mother and I are so much alike, currently I look a lot like a photo of a 20 something version of my mother here in San Francisco, before she had me and met my father, whom I as well as Christen Williams have also ruined prenatally, and I resent his lies he told the foster family and folks In Louisiana, to save his pocket book, some folks told tales before they died, that worked for the state department of human services.

I knew I could not come out due to my co-depencacy, being a sex worker or having to scares me to death, I don’t want that, I would rather die than have sex with a man, for money or not. In addition, I would not degrade myself like that. I’m more asexual, I don’t even like other (preop) transgender or some, a lot out here scare me,

I’ve wanted to call christen, I obtained through my social engineering skills her number yet again, I wish I could have to courage to leave a message, but I can’t, I wish I could see her and hug her, but I ruined my public opnion of myself.

I only want to be loved, and I know I am, but I’ve leered to lie, use folks, and well I don’t think Ill, ever have SRS or a normal life, despite at times being attractive physically, and as a person, and emotionally, and kind.

I see myself as 27 years down the drain, I feel I am to utterly high standards, when I was forced to do more things by HJM as a child that I didnd twna to because I was to queer, or fairy, I was razed by ultra right GOP folks, I don’t know what I believe, I joined the LDS church as a convert to cure my feelings and only caused me further harm and agony, I ran into a member today at Safeway, that I knew. Moreover, the BYU and Utah plates and others were a dead giveaway, and various phrases such as CTR or return with honor was a giveaway to a prior member

I don’t know how to interact or live, I am a bag of bones in this body, I feel like my time is running out I might extend my life to 18 months sober or 2 years, but at the minimal my sobertiday date and year aneveray of July 13 2007- July, 13-2008

San Francisco has its perks but is rough, I am grateful christen might be finally getting her shelter and center, but too little too late. I have the potential to live in stealth, but don’t see it happening. I wish I could be a client of hers, but again I felt it was made clear to me I was unwelcome, but I never really completely heartily asked, I have a lot of blackouts and emotions from my drinking.

I’ve also as opposed to suicide, been thinking of robbing a bank, than getting caught, at the bank, than on a interview if the FBi doesn’t give me the max time and allow me to go to federal prison, Commit a offense that You don’t have the freedom to joke about, the one thing in your 1st amendment rights you can’t say, even just as a joke is a crime, with the us marshals and secret service, the world’s most powerful person, and our trusted leader. Given already I am on thin ice, which I state; I am a patriot and love my country even if I do not like the way it is going politically. However verbal, written acts are take very, very seriously and could be an act to get a very very long time in isolation and solitude in SUPERMAX, and to be alone without outside contact get to sleep all day, and have veg meals. And just rest, what more could I ask for.

That are just some thoughts plus I’m bitchy from losing something last night from a blackout, I’m going to get a MRI and Catscan referral, I’m worried I damaged my left frontal lobe or frontal lobe more than at birth right here across the bay in Oakland.

I wish I could ask for christen, I wish I had a community to be a part of, the folks here suck a bit. I duno, I feel like I am unwelcome on HACS, or at any TG event, I wish I could be welcome, I wish I could be an early client of the TG shelter, but I think not. I wish I could ask if HACS and Christen would help me not out of pity, or charity but helping another girl out of kindness but not pity. Maybe eventfully Ill get the security to directly contact someone but mostly not.

I sort of have a sad, depressing plan of action that well ends not so favbolary to me alone, but no one else is harmed directly, but indirectly, and maybe I’ll share more later, but I want to hang in there, and fight this feelings, and stay sober.

03/08/2008: Transhouston Posts: Note - This was reported to the FBI to the Duty Agent, Special Agent Gregory on 3/8/2008 at 9:40 pm. At 10:05 PM this same agent called me back to the information I had provided.

Lee logged in under "Leigh" and then after having his initial IP blocked, used a proxy to log in under "paw3n"

Sat 6:09 pm » paw3n » see you in hell christan!

Sat 9:02 pm » Leigh » I am going to take care of John, victor henrey, enrique, james, carl, elmadean, roswell, tino and Kill them the bastards that fucked up my life will die by the gun, not anyone the bastard co-workers who abused me, I Lookfoward to me hiting the papers. I will return shortly and kill them. I have not beef with you, Ill probbely be killed soon, as well.

Sat 9:04 pm » Leigh » Ill hit the houston news, shortly upon my re-arival. the basterd hit me, beat me,v ebaly abused me, and assulted me at work, home and I was to scared to do much about it. I did this to myself and lashed out, so I am going to take the law into my own hands for my injustice, I am not angry at you I am angry at me, and I am going to amke them pay for abuseing me

Sat 9:05 pm » Leigh » and no I havent been drinking just a sober rationile,

Sat 9:09 pm » Leigh » I am going to prepare for my actions and must be going, the best part is, I get to take the law into my hands, and get death like I want, and justice. no one else has to get hurt but the basterds that hurt me at work, and home and violated me, its the reason christan banned me, i lashed out at those who tryed to help me, (transhouston) and I was wrong I understand that, but the pain will never go away till my abusive former co-workers and apartment neighbors die, and face biblical justice, Im tired of being hit, abused and raped night after night, and verbaly abused.

Sat 9:13 pm » Leigh » Ill give you a date and time off my rampage 2:30 AM WALMART #3296 ON SOUTH KIRKWOOD NEAR RICHMOND AUG 13, TH 2008 THERE WILL BE A RAMPAGE AND BLOOD BATH LIKE NEVER BEFORE

Sat 9:18 pm » Leigh » ILL GET MY FAME, SHAME AND DEATH AND TAKE JUSTICE, - I LOOK FOWARD TO MEETING YOU IN HELL, I ALSO LOOK FOWARD TO MEETING LAW ENFORCMENT IF THEY GET IN MY WAY I LIKE A CHALLANGE, AND FUCK AA

03/04/2008: Transhouston Posts

Tue 4:27 pm » PROXY-GRRL » IM GOING TO KILL VICTOR, HENRY, ENRIQUE, CARL, JAMES, JOHN, HENREY, ELMADEN, TINO, CARL those who abyuse me at work, home school. I wont bother you any more, I am going to kill my former abusers (not anyone in the glbt community)

Tue 4:25 pm » PROXY-GRRL » I wanted to share something with you I am comeing back to Houston To finish something, I am going to get rid of JOHN, VICTOR, HENREY, ENRIQUE, CARL, JAMES, JOHN, TINO, ELMADEAN those who abused me at work, home and out in the community, and I became a staggering drunk. Im not going to hurt you or anyone else, but I am going to murder them, or I might self-termatate, I hurt every day knowing the pain and horrid things I casued this community I never move on past step 4, Im tired of hurting, trying to rebuild my life, Im not going to hurt you or anyone else, Im going to take the law in to my own hands, or as a comprmise Im going to self-termnate. Goodbye

03/02/2008: Email

from	Lee McInnis Gaetjens <mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com>
to		gypsyrose1972@gmail.com,
date		Sun, Mar 2, 2008 at 4:06 PM
mailed-by		gmail.com

It hurts, I did make the right choice, I wont post anything to breach folks, past. they dont even belive I left town. They think by looking them up a threat. I really do want to make things right, but they are unammendable. That hurts. they dont belive the Ip address they think Im useing a proxy.

Im going to post something true

Im sure you could have a friend of the community in law enfrocement check out this

I left houston on jan 6, 2008 Homeland security keeps records and airlines of flight manfests and passengers.
flight 1258 southwest airlines (hobby) I landed in vegas dropped off and picked up, we changed flight crews .passengers than took off againI flew into Oakland International Airport where I met a friend and rode bart into the city.

I presented my Texas DPS DRIVERS License #23861246 to board the flight.

My truck plate Texas 07S FN3 was in the hobby airport parking garage untill 03/01/2008

Its currently located at this address 2232 N Friendship Drive Harvey, LA 70058 on the left side (from the street) of the house next to the neighbours big sailboat.

I dont mean looking you up as a threat, I only would like to have a place to fall back on. I am sorry I ruined your sunday. I do not get off on it. You want to be left alone. I was wrong for what I did to you , zoe, shadow and others.

Im staying in homeless shelters, becuase I could not get help, and I ran out my welcome. I came here for a fresh start. I also want to try and make ammends. I am not lieing, Im sure you could check me out with SFPD which I am being a good girl and staying out of trouble.

I dont want to hurt your community, but it appears I caused more harm, and my harm is irrepearbale.
I offered my hand and contact as a token of peace. Im sorry you have a resentmnet, I hope one day you can contact me.

Check out the post office box (Im sure some of the communitys law enfrocment friends could check it out)

I wanted help, I went to mhmra, and other recouces. I didnt want to cause you any more harm.

Ive been living as myself, Im going to do a marker change, and Im undering hrt under a doctors care. I celaned up my life. and I am sober friday july 13, 2007
Ill leave you alone, and the doctors think I might have a concussion from the tazer and auto accident and resulting jail time in 2007

if it would make you happy have the feds proscuite me, if me going to jail would make you feal safe or being locked up for the rest of my life and the community feel better, than by all means do it.

its not a lie, scam, use or con. Im sincere.
--
Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Sole Proprietor
leemcg.com Media Group
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://s121.photobucket.com/albums/o211/mlgaetjens/ (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
mlgaetjens-yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038- aim/aol messenger

03/02/2008: Transhouston Posts (from server logs)

Lee logged in under "Leigh" and then after having his initial IP blocked, used a proxy to log in under "sfo-ca"

(X)(E) Leigh (76.202.118.61) hello christan
(X)(E) Cristan ()
You apparently have no program. What happened to your living amends of staying the hell away. Go away. Stay the away. NOBODY wants you here. Work your program and become a better person and stay away from here.
(X)(E) Caisha ()
I think I am going to switch to drinking mostly water and saving thigns like diet cola and tea for special treats for myslef
(X)(E) Leigh ()
I\'m trying, if things dont work for me here, I miss texas and houston honestly. If things dont work, Id like to know I could be welcomed back thats all if theres no bloody chance in hell, if I want help and am willing to take it, I tryed to seek help. would it be offered to me, or would I just be unwelcome I was wrong, I am 2000 Miles away, but if things dont work, I want to be a part of something, and admit help, and yes I am willing to pay concquesnces and even go back to jail, or elsewere. But if things dont work here, I want to be able to come back to what I concider home (houston?)
(X)(E) Leigh ()
Aperently you have some resentment and rightfuly, so. as well. People still care, and I dont want to dwell what happened so long ago. I learned to move on
(X)(E) Cristan ()
I am warning you. You threatened to blow up the Center. You threaten to kill me. You threatened to kill Zoe. Go away. Just go away. I don\'t care anything about you. I don\'t care where you are, how you feel or what you do as long as you do it away from here and you don\'t harm my community. GO AWAY!
(X)(E) Leigh ()
and Ill leave you with that food for thought, I hope you enjoy your food, goodbye christan. Obviously I am unwanted maybe Ill look you up in a few years when I come back for a 5 or 10 year anaversy and you might be a bit more humble. I left because of the pain of knowing how wrong I was, and how I ruined my life, I started over, and even left a lot back, because being true to myself and transiton was more important to me thanh much else. Im sorry you feel that way, I am learning to move on, forgive, and improving my social skills, honesty, stop lieing, and letting go. and I stoped overeacting, Im not perfect, but I have a desire to change,
(X)(E) Cristan ()
Go away!
(X)(E) Lillycath ()
oh hi
(X)(E) Leigh ()
You obviously didnt feel that, way when you tryed to talk to me once. Fine if it will make you feel better call HPD have me arrested, Ill do the time, Ill plead guilt to the max, if that will make you happy, whatever. I was wrong, and it hurts. what you want me to say I did it, I had a drinking problem, I want crazy with my religous stuff, and burned out. I lashed out. I moved on, I dont want to kiss ass and be friends. you dont have to forgive me. I struggled with my feelings, I was wrong, I had a drinking and other abuse problems.
(X)(E) Cristan ()
That sounds like yet another veiled threat. I\'m telling you... I\'m warning you.... Stay away.
(X)(E) Leigh (76.202.118.61)
fine, Im gone, if you want Im willing to go to jail or prison, if thats what would make you ahppy get commited, Ill leave you the fuck alone. I hope you can forgive as others. goodbye. I wont look you up or anyone else when I come back trhough town, I might go around texas through OK. Im leaveing bye
(X)(E) Lillycath ()
ok, hi
(X)(E) Cristan ()
Hi Lilly :e10:
(X)(E) Lillycath ()
I see it made a return visit
(X)(E) Caisha ()
Cristan, I suggest you copy and archive the shoutbox log for the past few days. It may come in handy if you need to proeve a violation of U.S.C. title 18 section 2701 to a federal prosecutor.
(X)(E) Caisha ()
Hello, Lillycath
(X)(E) Lillycath ()
hi Caisha
(X)(E) Cristan ()
Sigh... yes. Gowd, but I don\'t like being that way. But did you interpret that \"looking you up\" statement as a threat - or is it just me?
(X)(E) Caisha ()
Cristan, given history I have been told, I could easily see it as threatening
(X)(E) Lillycath ()
I vote threat
(X)(E) Dee ()
threat. I think so
(X)(E) Caisha ()
Also, as site owner you do have authority to revoke access to your site... and once you have done that, any further access is a prosecutable violation.
(X)(E) Dee ()
what an asshole to say you \"might be more humble\" Jeezus
(X)(E) Cristan ()
Caisha: I\'ll do that.
(X)(E) Caisha ()
(I had to deal with a lot of this kind of stuff back in the old bbs days.)
(X)(E) Cristan ()
Yes, I already banned his last IP. His current IP is 76.202.118.61
(X)(E) Caisha ()
(nods)
(X)(E) Caisha ()
(checks her server logs)
(X)(E) Dee ()
that would be - adsl-76-202-118-61.dsl.pltn13.sbcglobal.net
(X)(E) Caisha ()
Which, of course is why ip banning isn\'t as useful as it was before dynamic ip becaem so common
(X)(E) Dee ()
Geolocation says: UNITED STATES NEW YORK NEW YORK 40.7488 -73.9846 10001
(X)(E) Cristan ()
He has used 64.194.108.240, 124.106.243.87 and 69.107.119.244 B4
(X)(E) Caisha ()
Might be worth contacting the isp with a complaint for abuse, harassment and violation of federal law.
(X)(E) Dee ()
http://www.ipaddressguide.com/ip2location.aspx?ip=76.202.118.61
(X)(E) Caisha ()
Cristan, sent you a PM of soemthing I don\'t want to say in public
(X)(E) Dee ()
hmm. San Fran. Philpines, etc.. Obviouisly using an anon proxy
(X)(E) Dee ()
the \"2,000 miles away\" thing may be a blatant lie.
(X)(E) Cristan ()
Yup. He does that. It shows his intent to force contact even when I\'ve acted to keep him away.
(X)(E) Caisha ()
Which is a clear violation of that law
(X)(E) Dee ()
Stalking. Plain and simple. Nut job stalker.
(X)(E) Dee ()
I\'m so sorry to see your day of peace all messed up Cristan. :e6:
(X)(E) Caisha ()
Probably still here, watching us talk
(X)(E) Dee ()
no doubt.
(X)(E) Dee ()
and laughing about it.
(X)(E) Caisha ()
just more reason for me to finish the new shoutbox
(X)(E) Caisha ()
log in, go to a non-open channel
(X)(E) Caisha ()
(the new shoutbox will have a separate userlog and only people who are logged in will be able to go into non open channels)
(X)(E) Dee ()
/. and Wikipedia block anon proxy servers & TOR. I wonder how hard that would be to implement here?
(X)(E) Caisha ()
though, it would be more fun to kline them from as ecure irc server
(X)(E) Caisha ()
Dee, requires the web server to contact the client ip address for every non-listed ip address at minimum
(X)(E) Dee ()
so it\'s a difficult thing then I take it. Hmm. Darn.
(X)(E) Caisha ()
Though, this is worth considering : http://forums.suselinuxsupport.de/index.php?s=54e18a97a29a1c455b71eea6919dbcf0&showtopic=65110&pid=265047&st=0&#entry265047
(X)(E) Dee ()
well, I have to go cook something, all that food talk earlier made me super duper hungry. BBL.. :e15: :e15:
(X)(E) Caisha ()
Dee, blokcing open proxy is a pain, but it looks like tor might be easier
(X)(E) Dee ()
Suse Linux Rocks!
(X)(E) Cristan ()
Hrm... lemme try something. The shout might act a bit stange for a few min. Sorry...
(X)(E) Caisha ()
Okay
(X)(E) Dee ()
I do have to say that when I first joined here I used TOR for a few weeks. Out of paranoia. Others may also sometimes feel the need to do that for similar, legit reasons.
(X)(E) Dee ()
TOR can be used for good, or for bad.
(X)(E) Caisha ()
Dee, sometimes the only way to limit damage from hostiles is to limit soem options for others as well.
(X)(E) Dee ()
perfectly understandable. And in this case, warranted.
(X)(E) Caisha ()
It annoys me though, the internet was a lot nicer, before the flood of jerks
(X)(E) Dee ()
I guess the main REAL reason I was using TOR was to prevent my ISP from knowing I was here. I have a severe dislike of Big Brother.
(X)(E) Lillycath ()
I think we should focus on one person instead of punishing the people who are regurarls
(X)(E) Dee ()
well, I\'m of to make some spazghetti.. bbl.
(X)(E) Cristan ()
Hello? You may need to log in if you get a prompt
(X)(E) Lillycath ()
hi there Cris
(X)(E) Lillycath ()
I hope Caisha and Dee return soon
(X)(E) Dee ()
woa! passwords now!
(X)(E) Dee ()
Coolness!
(X)(E) Lillycath ()
wb Dee
(X)(E) Dee ()
it\'s a short visit, just got done washing dishes, about ready to start cooking now..
(X)(E) RonnaDee ()
Hello Dee:e15:
(X)(E) Dee ()
okey dokey well back to the kitchen. Gotta make something, having HG meltdown.
(X)(E) Lillycath ()
hi Ronna
(X)(E) RonnaDee ()
Hello Lilly:e15:
(X)(E) sfo-ca (193.200.150.26)
have a law enfrocement friend check out the passenger manifest southwest flight 1258 on jan 6th, at 740 am, and the listing of autos parked on the hobby airport parking garage between jan 6th 2008 and march 1st 2008 for texas truck 07SFN3, its not a lie and I dont get off on this. I understand I cant control your resenement and greater good to the communioty. Ill leave you alone, think whatever, I sent you a email. check out other details you dont want to kn ow. its not another lie, have SFPD check out the details I sent you. I gave you some info and I ll send you more, the community is safe. I left for the greater good, and please refer to me in the future as she, thank you very much. I had a lot of transphobia with my lds and mormon issues, and my abuse and others transphobia and my own. I was wrong, and I went into drinking and rages. I didnt listen to you, I fucked up a friendship, aqauince for life, or whatever But Im woman enough to admit my faults.
(X)(E) sfo-ca ()
im gone, at least I am woman enough to admit faults, belive what you want I did the affiramtioned things, at least I can admit who i was 2 years ago, I changed in jail and when I sobered up. Yes I could be lieing, Im clean and reformed
(X)(E) sfo-ca ()
I could be half way aorund the world, and looking you up wasnt ment as threat, it was ment as a token of extending the olive branch something you care not to do
(X)(E) Lillycath ()
how is your aftgernoon going Ronna
(X)(E) Cristan ()
Lee: I am telling you: You are BANNED from this site. You have NO BUSINESS here. This is the 3RD time I have told you this. You know both Zoe and I have already filed police reports against you. I keep banning you IPs and so it is reasonable to deduce that you much know that YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE. You are obviously using proxies to get around that. This is demonstrable stalking behavior. Throwing your personal info out here is not an apology and it does not make it right. Do not return here or I will file ageist you. Go away. Don\'t come back.
(X)(E) Cristan ()
Please: If and when anyone sees this person post something, please report it to me and DO NOT engage them.
(X)(E) Dee ()
gladly.
(X)(E) Lillycath ()
I will follow exactly what you say Cristan

2/09/2008: Email Contact

02/09/08



Brutal Honesty and amends of transgressions (known and unknown)


As you well are aware, I struggled with myself, my faith, abuse, and
standing up for myself, I bitched and complained and than dove deep
into drinking and did many illicit deeds as you are well aware. I need
for my program though I drank myself into stupidity, admit something
though in Honesty I am not sure weather it was a drunken fact or
rficton or if I really did these things or if I did them to someone
else.

Keep in mind, I blamed others for my own trans phobia, abuse and lack
of action for myself. I was wrong, I did my present suition to myself.
I left town to give me humility and faith to ensure I build a future
and better life and to start over. I also don't know or remember much,
I messed up a lot and don't know what I did and did not do, but I felt
this letter is in order.

This is not an admission of guilt, just a step letter, I do feel I owe
finical amends, even for calling Christan drunk many times and
bitching. (changing her number) security measures I feel I owe hacs
for reimbursement for my prior transgressions during thanksgiving
2006.


I think to Christan, I may or may not have installed and removed a
hidden "bug" device in the walls or frame of the house where the
meetings where held  (Morgan & pacific)in the floorboards and walls
that broadcasts in the 400 MHz range and could be picked up a few
blocks away. I also seem to have remembrance of pinching a heater hose
with a pin and needle on her truck under the aged clamps. I also seem
to have remembrance of installing and removing a magnetic GPS unit on
christens truck on the chassis.

I also used a friend who had access to the building to river oaks  AND
worked in private security for hire and a friend who worked in law
enforcement tower to "bug" several HACS administrative  offices again
in the 800 MHZ range and install and remove key logger devices to
various computers.

I was wrong for things I did, and admit guilt to my actions, and
inactions. But I give brutal honesty to the extent I went in my
resentments to how Christan and hacs ruined my life and my obsession
and the extents I went to to tamper and stalk and keep in the loop of
how things happened and had outside help with things and criminal
activity's which I became involved in, its how I knew where the
meetings where, in addition  someone who used to attend the meetings
would keep in me in the loop.

As far as lilly, I seem to have memmeorys of having her tailed and a
GPS tracking device installed on her auto, and have remembrance of
having a associate take out two of her tires (making the spare
relatively useless) by destroying the valve stems. And a pin though a
heater hose and clamp. (simulr to christens truck)

Also I shall put a disclaimer I feel and am not ceritn in honesty with
my severity if the property crime aspects were true or if I did them
to someone else, I did a lot of bad things, and also keeping in mind
that I am 2000 miles away and out of jurisdictional of any Texas law
enforcement agency, and that I don't know, and any and all bugging,
tracking devices have long been removed. And also that parody, joke
and words are protected by the 1st amendment of the untied states
Constitution. And any attempt to extradite me back to Texas will be
fought with a vengeance, I left to better myself start over and make
amends, and offer to make financial amendments, and I honestly have
gaps, fog and unknown as to what I did and did not do.


-- 
Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Sole Proprietor
leemcg.com Media Group
PO Box 66471
Houston, Texas 77266-6471
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://s121.photobucket.com/albums/o211/mlgaetjens/ (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
mlgaetjens-yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038- aim/aol messenger

2/01/2008: Email Contact

Date:	Fri, 1 Feb 2008 16:18:18 -0800
From:	"Lee McInnis Gaetjens" <mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com> Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by gmail.com. Learn more
Subject:	A Open Letter


02/01/08


To whom it may concern:

I am sorry for lashing out and causing fear, and in the process nearly
getting myself killed and flushing my Life down the toilet. I was
wrong for past transgressions, I left town in the area of remaining
sober, positive and bringing myself faith, and humility in my program.

I hope that Those I scared, offended, and lashed out at or otherwise
made uncomfortable can forgive me and welcome me with open arms at
some point in the future.

This letter is composed as a token, asking for forgiveness, I had to
abandon a lot, to get the help I required which I did not myself, I
needed a fresh start from the bottom, and to become a stronger woman,
in the process and learn more about myself, and face my fears so I
remain clean, sober and a positive example of Trans-women.

I hope at some point after I get my life together, settled, and
improve my life, finances, education, and true self, and transition. I
could be re-welcomed with arms. And pushing resentments behind, I see
many messed up Trans-women, folks, drunks, crackpots, and queers.
Wishing they had what I had in my sobriety, spiritual experience, and
development, and acceptance of my true-self.

Furthermore, in brutal honesty I have a lot of fog, but relived upon
leavening How insane I really was. I was a time bomb, and you did what
was in the best interest of the community and I don't resent you for
it, I admire your willingness courage and faith and hope for all of my
anger, rage, and drunkenness and self-destructive actions, acting out,
bitching, and complaining.

I think the community there is extremely lucky to have folks there,
the lower cost of living and hope strides are made with awareness,
shelters and access to medical care and improvements on restroom
access and law enforcement and jail housing.

Houston is very lucky to have folks Like Christan W, Lilly R, and
others who are making changes and progress one day at a time, slow and
steady and first things first.

I left out of strong need for a fresh start, and am saddened of not
being banished, but how wrong I really was. My own trans-phobia,
abuse, and religious insanity and drinking and abuse and death wish
inspired whom I almost got and even close to leavening considered
strongly.

My spiritual experances that led me to change, was my Tazering, Near
death drinking and overdose attempts, lack of eating for days, and
someone I was drinking with that killed 3 people and injured 2.
regardless even if at some point in the future on a visit I show up at
a meeting I also have some finical amends for transgressions I
committed against someone who attends a meeting. And other affairs,
creditors, and individuals and institutions I owe large sums of money.

I wanted to write a letter of gratitude, forgiveness and asking if
things don;t work out here, if you would welcome me back in your
circle. I came here to get help, because of shame and panic of
occasionally seeing my abusers, I wanted help but I felt like I burned
my bridges out of town.

Myself, I am becoming older, wiser and sober. And want to make a
better future for myself, I crafted so much to come here to San
Francisco, CA I hope one day I can return or visit or give or donate
time, money and services to the Houston, Texas TG community and GLBT
community as a whole.

Please forgive me for my brutal Honesty and lack of self-respect and
respect for others. Its not easy, and I was scared and went into panic
mode, I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder here, and
have begun and taken steps to go back to school, get income, housing,
and transition. I started HRT and things properly, I also have opened
my heart, mouth and brain to honestly, compassion, and faith.I hope
You can one day Meet or have the chance to meet the Improved, and
better True-Self of lee.




Your Sister in sobriety & heart and soul, (who Is tired of being sick
 and tired)



McInnis Lee Gaetjens


-- 
Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Sole Proprietor
leemcg.com Media Group
PO Box 66471
Houston, Texas 77266-6471
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://s121.photobucket.com/albums/o211/mlgaetjens/ (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
mlgaetjens-yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038- aim/aol messenger

1/06/2008: Email Contact

Date:	Sun, 6 Jan 2008 01:11:06 -0600
From:	"Lee McInnis Gaetjens" <mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com> Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by gmail.com. Learn more
Subject:	leaveing


goint to hou to oak to sfo southwest flt 1258 leave hou740 arv oak
1055 ride bart 2 sfo

-- 
Sent from Gmail for mobile | mobile.google.com

Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Sole Proprietor
leemcg.com Media Group
PO Box 66471
Houston, Texas 77266-6471
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
mlgaetjens-yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038- aim/aol messenger

12/07/2007: Registered for Membership with Transhouston.com

Generated via website logs...

A new user has registered:

Username: leemcg
First Name: lee mcinnis
LastName: gaetjens
Email: leemcg@leemcg.com

11/11/2007: Email Contact

from	Lee MC. G.. <mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com>
to		gypsyrose1972@gmail.com,
date		Sun, Nov 11, 2007 at 12:39 AM
subject		transhouston.com
mailed-by		gmail.com

11/11/07

I was hoping , I could be allowed to be reinstated access, and at some
point after I am stabilised allowed to make amends, if they are mend
able.

I am sorry to run away from you. I am not angry at you I was afraid
and it wasn't something I wanted to deal with, I really abused my
body, and have hurt myself off and on. I'm sober for four months on
Tuesday. Ciao.

11/11/2007: Email Contact

from	Lee MC. G.. <mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com>
to		gypsyrose1972@gmail.com,
date		Sun, Nov 11, 2007 at 12:36 AM
subject		Im geting help, I do want to make ammends in the future
mailed-by		gmail.com

hide details 11/11/07

11/10/07

The truth is today, went to the olive garden, rested and slept well
most of the day. I didn't use any sudafed today or use any cough
stuff. The bug seems to have passed me. I met with my new sponsor at
lambda. Went to the 8pm meeting sat with my sponsor. And my higher
power had it someone that works at mhrma is going to pull some strings
for me.

I am feeling better about myself and my soul. I find it odd I have
tasks and chores I no longer enjoy, I don't enjoy preforming
preventive maintenance on my truck but I do it. I have so many chores,
I need to do but cant.

I ran into taxi bill last night when I went to purchase some light
bulbs for my safety inspection, I might need a rear brake job soon and
new tires also. I was honest and have capacity to be honest. I am
terrors ed of large packs of black males and has panic males.

I want to transition and be in a supportive working ennvormine, and I
kept my promise to my wonderful therapist at montrose counseling
center, my sponsor is going with me to the elegablity center. I hurt
badly but admit my faults in honesty. I had to brake a commitment last
night with the HATCH kid I give a ride home sometimes, some drunk guy
left a foul odor in my house.

I have to draw and paint a picture of a safe place for me., My safe
place is my truck, a bar or my mini storage. I will never get over the
bad things they did to me victor, henry, john, enrique, james,
elamadean, carl. But I can let go and put what ever happens regarding
their abuse to me at wal-mart #3296 and my old apartment on hayes
road, outside the beltway near briar forest and wilcrest behind me.

I fear living, and living in reality due to the horrid, verbal,
physical, emotional and sexual abuse they committed to me. I have
committed to remain here and deal with my issues for the moment, and
hope I can repair damage I have done. And ask for a handout and maybe
get a gold card, and my future is uncertain. I get 4 months sober on
Tuesday.

I also cooked a little recently, and I am very scared of reality but I
will be ok and have someone I trust now, maybe I opened up, Maybe I
was humbled out of resentment and can see forgiveness and be honest.
Maybe Ill be loved, maybe even Ill make living amends or other amends
with my current sponsor.

I miss things but also Like the future and one day at time. I think
people still care otherwise Id be in prison, dead or based on nasty
things and death threats I made to others I would have my ass locked
up.

I hate being at home, Id like to be able to live life and not have to
feel so crash pad and out of the suitcase again. I want to live, and
love and have faith again. And its close again and that scares the
shit out of me but also makes me happy the pain is going to end soon.
I'm going to get better.

--
Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Sole Proprietor
leemcg.com Media Group
PO Box 66471
Houston, Texas 77266-6471
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)

11/02/2007: Email Invite

from	Lee-Mcinnis Gaetjens <service@noreply.bebo.com>
to		gypsyrose1972@gmail.com,
date		Fri, Nov 2, 2007 at 7:23 PM
subject		New invitation from Lee-Mcinnis Gaetjens
mailed-by		noreply.bebo.com

hide details 11/2/07

You have been invited to connect as friends with Lee-Mcinnis Gaetjens <mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com>

Please accept or reject this invitation by clicking below:
http://www.bebo.com/in/4959808804a876526723b135

9/22/2007: Email Contact

Date:	Sat, 22 Sep 2007 16:33:08 -0500
From:	"Lee MC. G.." <mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com> Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by gmail.com. Learn more
Subject:	Fwd: ammends

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Lee MC. G.. <mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com>
Date: Sep 19, 2007 2:43 PM
Subject: ammends
To: John Koeppen <jkoeppen@hacstxs.org>

Dear john I am sorry for the choices and words I have done to you, your employee and would like to lay the ground work to making amends's and working toward being welcomed again in the path of my sobriety or If I could be given a 2nd chance. I have been going to therapy and treatment for my drinking and other issues and would like to work to be able to slowly and positively be allowed to attend events if possible and make full am mends.

--
Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Sole Proprietor
leemcg.com Media Group
PO Box 66471
Houston, Texas 77266-6471
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)

--
Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Sole Proprietor
leemcg.com Media Group
PO Box 66471
Houston, Texas 77266-6471
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)

8/09/2007: Email Notice to My Employers - This was a notice I sent to my employer about the next email Lee sent to me

from	Cristan Williams <gypsyrose1972@gmail.com>
to		Mary Ann Ursua <mursua@hacstxs.org>, Nelson Gonzalez <ngonzalez@hacstxs.org>, John Koeppen <jkoeppen@hacstxs.org>,
date		Thu, Aug 9, 2007 at 9:26 AM
subject		Re: ammends
mailed-by		gmail.com

8/9/07

This is an ex HACS client. This is the individual that threatened to kill people at one of the DIC TG events. This is also the person who threatened to beat me with a baseball bat. He was the client that I had to file a police report over. This individual was banned from HACS services. He is the reason I had to have my HACS cell phone number changed.

He recently got out of jail for assault.

I think that the letter is important for the following reasons:

He is stating that he is planning to do something that will result in his death or land him in psychiatric care or jail:

"I miss family and friends and myself the truth is I am old, I know my time is coming and Know I will die soon. I figure I will die in a brutal fashion with my 15 seconds of shame and fame, brutally and deadly possibly with a member of law enforcement or security guard (armed and commissioned) involved. I will probbley go to prison or the asylum or the county morgue."

"My time is running out and I have tasks I wish and desire to finish before my time expires and I go out in my blaze of glory with my 15 seconds of shame."

"My time runs out and the hourglass runs null. For my time is going to end one day and my time stands still. Death is what I desire most, the shot of fire burns below fire breath of latter days to come I fall to the street my wrists, and breasts slashed side to side I shoot myself in the Hyde."

(It is rumored that he lives in the Hyde Park area of the Montrose)

He is admitting that he was angry with me because he felt I ruined his life:

"Maybe I blamed her so much, because I hated her for I admired and was jealous of her, as she is everything I wish to be."

He is admitting that he stalked me:

"I love and admire her even if she doesn't know it. I have witnessed her on a few occasions and even by "accident" obtained her number and address..."

He is stating his desire to initiate personal contact with me. Additionally, he is stating that he is still fixated with me:

"I honestly one day, hope Christian and I can become good friends I do not blame her and though working on my self with my wonderful therapist whom is featured in this months out-smart magazine. I admire her, even am attracted to her courage, heart, peace and assessment of the world."

In short, this email combined with his history tells me:

That he is dangerous. His assault imprisonment proves that he is violent.
He wants to die. Moreover, he wants to involve another person in his death.
He continues to be fixated on me.
He knows where I work and live.

It seems evident that he has not yet focused his energy towards any one objective. I think his attention is scattered and is probably incapable of committing to any one course of action right now. John is very familiar with this ex client. He might have some professional opinions about how dangerous this individual may be.

I don't want any contact with him. He desires any form of my attention – even if it is negative attention. I don't want to deal with him in any way.

I will do an incident report and contact the police for the sake documentation.

8/06/2007: Email Contact - This was what the above email to my employer was about

	from	Lee MC. G.. <mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com>
to		gypsyrose1972@gmail.com,
date		Mon, Aug 6, 2007 at 5:16 PM
subject		ammends
mailed-by		gmail.com

8/6/07

I have an interesting self-discovery of myself, someone I tried to hurt, someone who is well known to my next door neighbor Alexis and to vanity. I don't relive what I did in fact I think she loved me, cared for me and even wanted the best for me I feel badly I did everything in my power to hurt, her and she loved me. I have been fighting and bickering with her for over a year and half. And yet she swept me under the rug in love and caring and understanding.

I do know I hurt but accept the consequences of my drinking, drug use and anger and rage at her, the not listening and control freak. I am trying to recover but honestly something is different within me on one hand I am brave, out, and open on the other I am sacred angry and well terrorizes of myself. Not her just for what I have done.

I do know my head trauma and tazering and asskickings from 1-2 years Of very hard drinking, abuse and mistreatment of my body, and poor choices and turning to crime have messed with me, yes I am afraid of something's and have some insecurities. Yes, I feel in her debt deeply due to the reasoning, of the fact that if I win the lottery I will see, she has her shelter, or if I ever strike it big, she will have a sizeable wealth as material things and wealth mean nothing to me.

In fact I would not stop working, my priorities in life are:

1.) sobriety

2.) transition

3.) work / education

4.) Charity /. Community service

5.) Political actions.

The person to whom I speak I is well known and some of the things I did to make her life hell are well known but it is bad Entergy and I have destroyed my life, I feel so bad at times the hell I put her though yet she did not have me arrested, or seek a restraining order, I hope distance, abstance and my actions could repair and allow her to forgive me the nasty things I have done to her and others and the terrorist actions I have done.

I don't know what's wrong with me, being so sad and severely depressed and worrying about death, dieing and the afterlife and karma. I feel bad for myself, yet have nightmares often of sins against myself, others in the GLBT community, positive friendships, my job, work, family, religious & spiritual life, loved ones, latter day saint folks, friends, co-workers and my mom (deceased).

I miss family and friends and myself the truth is I am old, I know my time is coming and Know I will die soon. I figure I will die in a brutal fashion with my 15 seconds of shame and fame, brutally and deadly possibly with a member of law enforcement or security guard (armed and commissioned) involved. I will probbley go to prison or the asylum or the county morgue.

The truth is Christian whom I speak of above, I forgive she didn't ruin my life. I did in fact she took up for me when others did not. I love and admire her even if she doesn't know it. I have witnessed her on a few occasions and even by "accident" obtained her number and address when using a computer by someone attempting to locate an address with data-mining and law enforcement database access. Someone that hurt me with her same last name many years ago who I think might be in Texas and I was trying to locate.

I honestly one day, hope Christian and I can become good friends I do not blame her and though working on my self with my wonderful therapist whom is featured in this months out-smart magazine. I admire her, even am attracted to her courage, heart, peace and assessment of the world.

I honestly wish I was not as butch or soft studish. Maybe I blamed her so much, because I hated her for I admired and was jealous of her, as she is everything I wish to be.

Its easy to look outside the mirror and blame others when the person is staring back at you all along.

Anyway, Melanie Morrison is wonderful and I am glad she is featured though she looks pale when they took her photo I think she does not like having her photo taken unless it is a happy moment for her personally.

Anyway looking back I saw her at a few times but honestly, my time is running out. Maybe I just have given up I believe my higher power good and evil has punished me for the wrongs I did maybe I did not offend her, I am not angry at her if anything I admire her. (christen) she cared and loved me and even took up for me when I scared the be Jesus out of others, If I can get a security guard whom I have priory terrorized to call 911 have 6 cops show up just for being in traffic and wavering and cause the guard to run the light and to show up a bunch of redneck cops with firearms wanting to kick my ass. That is how bad I have hurt the GLBT community but also myself.

I think maybe this is hell for me, maybe in the end if and when I die I will be born under the proper gender in the heavens or be reincarnated and grow again. It does not matter however I know My time is running out and I have tasks I wish and desire to finish before my time expires and I go out in my blaze of glory with my 15 seconds of shame. And good ridding for the damage I did and not standing up for the real abusers, those who hit, me, verbally abused me, raped me, physically and emotionally abused me and who I allowed as myself to be a victim and started abusing drugs and drinking.

My time runs out and the hourglass runs null. For my time is going to end one day and my time stands still. Death is what I desire most, the shot of fire burns below fire breath of latter days to come I fall to the street my wrists, and breasts slashed side to side I shoot myself in the Hyde.

The truth is I have lied, cheated and hurt others and mainly myself in the community the reasoning is I can't let go, and my memories and brain is deeply fucked up from abuse, self abuse and I lost all desires within myself

AA has become a very spiritual giving that I lost and I am growing and see folks I care about but also miss my family, friends and religious spirit I lost. And life long friendships I flushed down the tubes I hope I can let time, distance and faith heal the my scars and wounds for I have folks I deeply and somewhat secretly admire.

My day was very enjoyable today, and finished much in myself in spirit and soul. I slept well without nightmares. The sobriety of my life. I miss so much but do not miss how I feel or felt. Its difficult to learn to deal with the most simplest things in lift through being sober.

As far as christen is concerned I care, and admire she put up with my shit. I did not talk to her at HERA due to I was confused and scared to do so. In addition, was not ready to do such. I am not angry at her, and yes I know I am a little odd and strange lately I hurt because I have to learn to deal with life again, I didn't take life seriously by the time I met her I had lost my sobriety and depended on drinking to deal with life.

I am different, and confused I am not used to dealing with life without drinking for the past 1 ½ to 2 years I have been a drunk I am not angry at her, though I though she was as at me. I do not have anger toward her. Its just her talking to me well scared me and I was not 100% sure who she was. I am sorry for rejecting her. In fact, I admire her due to her putting up with my shit for all these years.

I have to learn to deal with life again, and yes, I want to talk to her. Nevertheless, understand my actions scared some around me. If I can have an armed commissioned security guard and ex-cop (very old) so scared of me to call 911 for police assistance just by pulling up to him next it traffic. Than she was someone that I was angry at in my weird drunken way, its just I cant forgive myself more. I have zero anger at her. In addition, stay away and rejected her due to well fear of relattishonships and dealing with reality in sobriety.

I have an appointment next week (two) one with my therapist another with my doctor I may start some anti-anxiety drugs and new anti-depressants and continue my hormones as well. My dad and I have been talking I want to go back to school University of California at Berkeley is an interest due to the fact out of the top 20 GLBT collages it has the best transgender inclusive policies. And as a California resident they knock 20,000 of the tuition and while I may or may not return to Texas, I intend to come back maybe for the summers Texas is home to me in Houston, Dallas, and Austin have been good to me. And given I refuse to fly commercial air travel or cruse ships I don't like being in that due to confined spaces and ventilation issues and reminds me in a box too much of my many arrests for disorderly conduct, disturbing the peace, interfering with police procedure, in sighting a riot, resisting arrest, terrorist threats.

Monday, August 06, 2007

I don't like doing warehousing, receiving, and hard heavy manual labor but enjoy doing it to some degree I got in great shape, and journalism I never want to be big and well known on some "mainstream" publication. I don't like such things, I prefer something small and indie media, I like web media and writing, bloging, shortwave broadcasting to 3 ^rd world countries, FTA Sat Broadcasting, and things covering prison, drug, glbt equity, transgender inclusive rights, helping others, traveling to 3^rd world countries. Marvin Zindler was a personal loss for me he proved you don't have to be conventional to make it big into broadcasting and helped others. He even helped me once, when I was trying to cut through red tape to get my license unsuspended in my home town due to bureaucracy I had been talking to folks, at 5pm on Friday they were on the phone with me hung up and let me go the following Monday I called back talked to a supervisor and said I was calling Marvin Zindler I had the traffic attachment removed the same day, and had spoken to Marvin Kindler left a message at ABC 13 for him he called me later and said the name invoked fear in to the Louisiana department of public safety.

I had registered and obtained my Texas license here when Rita struck my old license title and the LA DPS was backed up so bad, and the paper work was lost and damaged during Rita, I had a warrant for no insurance, when in fact at the time when the warrant was issued I had surrendered my dps title, and registration and Louisiana CLASS "D" License I had insurance in both states at the time there was zero lapse in coverage.

I hurt so bad for the bad rep I have done I invite Chris to talk to me anytime. I did not mean to be rude. I was just afraid and not something, I was ready to deal with. I am sleeping better and taking good care of myself. In addition, not abusing myself through cutting, not eating or not taking good care of myself.

Ill be 30 days sober on the 13^th of this month witch is awesome due to the fact of Friday the 13^th easy day to remember. I started drinking again due to well abuse inner loop by drunken frat boys.

I have a new job to find and new things to search for soon. I want to stop by and say HI but understand my actions would be poor. I have started attending the the Unitarian Universalism church on main street it was very enjoyable that and the LAMBA center are my spiritual and religious life.

I saw Carolyn's nametag up there; if Christian and I should cross paths there, I invite her to talk to me. I did not mean to reject her it was difficult to deal with her there. In addition, honestly I was not sure and afraid to deal with it there. I would like to talk to her again if she is willing but I Respect her boundaries.

I also wanted to add that your dads loss is similar to my moms loss we never saw eye to eye and never agreed much as did much of my family whom I went in the direction of. My mom died brutally as you know and I grieve with you and I am not angry at you I just was afraid to deal with you I am sorry I do care I want to make amends, I also wanted to know your kindness and turning the other cheek at me even when I lashed out at you christen makes my heart warm. For the reasoning I am revising my will and will have a copy to you when it is finished I plan (at present and have a 1 ^st draft which I will take downtown to the courthouse to file amended from my old draft in 2001 filed in Louisiana I plan to leave my sole heir and estate to you and the Houston area transgender fund or Montrose counseling center.

I am not angry at you, nor was I ever I had problems and am dealing with them next week I am going to start some anti-depressants, and anti-anxiety drugs in addition others and have been seeking help and putting forth effort upon my release I would like to be welcomed again but understand things take time

The things I did to you and I am not angry, I lashed out at the most visable thing and struggle with life and dealing with life now being sober. I leave will have a copy of my will delivered to you for the reasoning of you put up with me even all the nasty things I did I changed now that I am sober and life is hard. I love you and your kindness.

--
Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Sole Proprietor
leemcg.com Media Group
PO Box 66471
Houston, Texas 77266-6471
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)

6/14/2007: Email Contact

Date:	Thu, 14 Jun 2007 23:39:48 -0500
From:	"Lee MC. G.." <mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com> Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by gmail.com. Learn more
To:	"Tim Brookover" <timbrookover@gmail.com>, "Christan Williams" <gypsyrose1972@yahoo.com>
Subject:

I would like to ask that you could allow me an opportunity to make am mends for my past actions and be given a second chance to move on toward being welcomed to the meetings, based on my past actions I understand this is a wish and long shot.

I am willing to offer information and allow my therapist to talk to you and share information and wish to work out an arrangement where all party's based on past poor actions can work out something in agreement. I have continued counceling and served my time based on past poor actions.

Regards-

--
Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 66471
Houston, Texas 77266-6471
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)

6/14/2007: Registered for Membership with Transhouston.com

Generated via website logs...

Username: mlgaetjens
First Name: McInnis Lee
LastName: Gaetjens
Email: mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com

6/13/2007: Registered for Membership with Transhouston.com

Generated via website logs...

A new user has registered:

Username: leemcg
First Name: McInnis Lee
LastName: Gaetens
Email: leemcg@leemcg.com

5/28/2007: Email Contact

Date:	Mon, 28 May 2007 18:38:57 -0500
From:	"Lee MC. G.." <mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com> Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by gmail.com. Learn more
Subject:	updates

My New Mailing Address (not po box has CHANGED)

My New Home Address effective after the 1st

4526 1/2 MT Vernion DR
Houston, Texas 77006

--
Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 66471
Houston, Texas 77266-6471
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)

2/28/2006: Email Contact

Date:	Wed, 28 Feb 2007 15:56:32 -0600
From:	"Lee M.G." <mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com> Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by gmail.com. Learn more
Subject:	!


I shall do some time here, soon. (a week or two) in county and I shall
be leaveing town, 1800 miles to the north west of here. they mis
spelled my name on the docket McInnis Lee Gaetlens or something
simular. I only wish best wishes I shall return later at some point
(possible) I only want me to be with you in spirit and heart and IM
sorry for harsh words and poor judgement on my half.


Ill most likely start serveing my time 3-21-07 (misd) Class C on or
aorund that time My atty  finshing things and Im getting my affairs in
order I plan to enjoy a good dinner before leaveing and makeing
arangements.

I'm sorry Ive been a jerk to some of you over the years, and Hope you
forgive and forget or whatever. Regardless, you have helped me and
brought me heart and learning. I hope you can understand my reasons
for leaveing, I understand Ive hurt many and need to ride off into the
sunset. I'm going to pay my debit to society and do my time. I thank
some mof you for being kind to me, or trying to. I dug my grave and
pay the cost.

I know some of you will be happy to see me go, some may be indiffrent
some may care less. My mouth keeps me in trouble, and my mouth got me
in trouble from this auto accdient blown out of hand, I shall do my
time and leave and start fresh someplace else, Its not safe for me
here as my former bishop pettey and others saw my abuse and
mistreatment some of you know or supected aspects of my life now that
they are out and open, I don't hide things any more or more less. I
have a good plan, and will carry it out to start a new life over.

You can't do things for me which I must do for myself, I should listen
more and progress and I shall. maybe Ill come to visit or come back
one day, thats uncertin, regardless good luck, and good spirits.

Happy trails and happy march and ST pattys day Ill probbley get a
april fools joke played on me in the wrong reason or place.

Cheers!


Cheers,

-- 
Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor
PO Box 421432
Houston, Texas 77242-1432
(713) 578-0016 Voice/Fax/Data
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com

12/04/2006: Email Contact

Date:	Mon, 4 Dec 2006 18:39:57 -0600
From:	"McInnis Lee Gaetjens" <mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com> Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by gmail.com. Learn more
To:	"Christan Williams" <gypsyrose1972@yahoo.com>, "Lillycath@aol.com" <Lillycath@aol.com>
Subject:	Happy Hollidays

I hope you all are haveing a happy hollidays, and things are going well for you. Sometimes people have problems its easyer to blame others or take things in offence or out of context. Anger, Hate and sins of others like your self build. Its not as easy as some things might seem. I understand more now. I truely feel badly for my actions both verbal and otherwise. I hope you and others at some point can find it in your heart to forgive me for poor choices, actions and being a shame and disgrace amongst the community.

I understand some may never forgive me, and I honestly dont deserve or want anything even If im never accepted and an Outcast is for people to forgive me in their hearts and not formaly. Somethings which people told me are more clear now. I hope that you have a happy and safe hollidays and everyone with HACS and the community is safe and has peace joy and prospectarity during this season.

--
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016 & (713) 787-9330
McInnis Lee Gaetjens "Beautiful Scars"
Attn: Lee M.G .
P.O. Box 421432
Houston, TX 77242-1432L
http://photos.yahoo.com/mlgaetjens (pics)
http://360.yahoo.com/mlgaetjens my blog
mlgaetjens- Yahoo Messenger
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12/03/2006: Email Contact

Date:	Sun, 3 Dec 2006 16:43:23 -0600
From:	"McInnis Lee Gaetjens" <mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com> Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by gmail.com. Learn more
To:	"Christan Williams" <gypsyrose1972@yahoo.com>
Subject:	Re: hi

sometimes people are stupid, Don't Listen and have to be stubborn and hard-headed and learn things the hard way. I expect anything in return for my "gift" to keep your site up and going, I only ask that you accept as a Gift is a gift.

I feel truely badly, I want to make ammends, Im staying away lately and keeping a low profile, per say.

I would like to be welcomed back, even again if I was it would be awakard, Id be prone to decline.

My asking for forgiveness in the shoutbox was just that. I didnt want anything more I still lurk in the shadows (no pun intended) and Im sorry for the mean things I did say to her, you and the bickering and flameing on your site, I wasted some of that bandwith so allow me to help out

On 12/3/06, McInnis Lee Gaetjens <mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com> wrote:

I truely am sorry when I posted on your site I was not complaining or wanting my mebbership back, I simply feel bad for my actions, I feel bad that you had to put ads by google some which I find offending. I dont want or expect any thing or even a response from this, only my regrets and I did send you a paypal donate I may contibue to send you some on a regular basis. Im not trying to "buy" my way back on transhouston or hacs. I only feel sorry for what I have done, and being a embarassment.

I do have a heart, and as of late have been geting rid of junk cultter and simplfying my life even though uncertiny I still give charity, I support what you do and your cause. I would hope you would take a gift for all the hard work you do and the money, time and labor you put into your site. I dont want or expect anything in return or ask for anything in the future

Happy Hollidays and be safe and fun!

Lee mg

--
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016 & (713) 787-9330
McInnis Lee Gaetjens "Beautiful Scars"
Attn: Lee M.G.
P.O. Box 421432
Houston, TX 77242-1432L
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http://360.yahoo.com/mlgaetjens my blog
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12/23/2006: Email Contact

Date:	Sat, 23 Dec 2006 11:35:18 -0600
From:	"Lee M.G." <mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com> Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by gmail.com. Learn more
To:	"Christan Williams" <gypsyrose1972@yahoo.com>
Subject:	insecurity

I left a little message to show you transhouston is still insecure.
search your logs for the clue
follow the white rabbit
I only point out insecurity, in codeing and never breach any thing or destory

Like you ima true geek and deisre for knowlage yes I left a Hint search your logs for the clue
I enjoy a good game of cat and mouse
you are the cat im the mouse that slips thorough the cracks

--
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016 & (713) 787-9330
Lee McInnis Gaetjens
P.O. Box 421432
Houston, TX 77242-1432

12/21/2006: Email Contact

Date:	Thu, 21 Dec 2006 05:23:32 -0600
From:	"Lee M.G." <mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com> Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by gmail.com. Learn more
To:	"Christan Williams" <gypsyrose1972@yahoo.com>
Subject:	i got fucked up drunk and got in t-r-o-u-b-l-e!

I love to be bad to the bone with class, not trash. lol

wow! Im fucked up this morning a good part of last night after the blur is a blur even the brb afterword is a blur and others

--
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016 & (713) 787-9330
Lee McInnis Gaetjens
P.O. Box 421432
Houston, TX 77242-1432

12/21/2006: Email Contact

Date:	Wed, 20 Dec 2006 19:35:37 -0600
From:	"Lee M.G." <mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com> Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by gmail.com. Learn more
To:	"Christan Williams" <gypsyrose1972@yahoo.com>
Subject:	question

Id like to know where I stand atm (at the moment) given the date you said i could POSSIBLY return to the groups was in early jan or jan 18th or 19th if I remember correctly, ive ive dug my grave on no chance in the future I understand, regardless Ive dug my own grave anyway in spirit and body.

I wish you a merry x-mass and happy new year, and all of you the best. Im gone and done for good in spirit, I honest to god wish I had listened to you more, regardless if you or john or HACS feelings regarding me, I do feel sorry not for being kicked out but for my actions, stupidity, and threats and poor choices.

I wish I had listened to you, and others. Im sorry and I hope if i see you someplace or sometime, you say hi or give me a hug. I feel horrid for my stupidity and self-distructive behavior. I dont want anything other even if others position is otherwise, that Im sorry.

Your sister,

Lee M.G.

--
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016 & (713) 787-9330
Lee McInnis Gaetjens
P.O. Box 421432
Houston, TX 77242-1432

12/03/2006: Email Contact

Date:	Sun, 3 Dec 2006 15:52:09 -0600
From:	"McInnis Lee Gaetjens" <mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com> Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by gmail.com. Learn more
To:	"Christan Williams" <gypsyrose1972@yahoo.com>
Subject:	hi

I truely am sorry when I posted on your site I was not complaining or wanting my mebbership back, I simply feel bad for my actions, I feel bad that you had to put ads by google some which I find offending. I dont want or expect any thing or even a response from this, only my regrets and I did send you a paypal donate I may contibue to send you some on a regular basis. Im not trying to "buy" my way back on transhouston or hacs. I only feel sorry for what I have done, and being a embarassment.

I do have a heart, and as of late have been geting rid of junk cultter and simplfying my life even though uncertiny I still give charity, I support what you do and your cause. I would hope you would take a gift for all the hard work you do and the money, time and labor you put into your site. I dont want or expect anything in return or ask for anything in the future

Happy Hollidays and be safe and fun!

Lee mg

--
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016 & (713) 787-9330
McInnis Lee Gaetjens "Beautiful Scars"
Attn: Lee M.G.
P.O. Box 421432
Houston, TX 77242-1432L
http://photos.yahoo.com/mlgaetjens (pics)
http://360.yahoo.com/mlgaetjens my blog
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11/28/2006: Email About Lee

Date:	Tue, 28 Nov 2006 21:33:13 -0600
From:	"Melanie Black" <shadowmib@gmail.com> Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by gmail.com. Learn more
To:	"Cristan Williams" <gypsyrose1972@yahoo.com>
Subject:	FYI

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Melanie Black <shadowmib@gmail.com>
Date: Nov 28, 2006 8:14 PM
Subject: Re: FW: [LSA] HouChron letters: Healing our distorted thinking
To: Tim Brookover <tim@outsmartmagazine.com>

Tim,

Lee has been BANNED from the HTGA meeting, as well as banned from the
TRanshouston.com website for stalking several people, as well as
making death threats.  Contact Cristan Williams about this person as
she can expand in detail.
I have also heard a rumor that he was causing trouble with the caucus
but have no details.

He has been offered all the help the local TG community could give him
and he repaid it by being a freak. He needs therapy and lots of it.

Melanie Black
281-748-4349

11/20/2006: Email Contact

Date:	Mon, 20 Nov 2006 04:31:38 -0600
From:	"McInnis Lee Gaetjens" <mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com>
To:	"Christan Williams" <gypsyrose1972@yahoo.com>, "John Koeppen" <jkoeppen@hacstxs.org>
Subject:	Houston Police

HTML Attachment [ Scan and Save to Computer ]

To whom it may concern:

I McInnis Lee Gaetjens a.k.a Lee McInnis Gaetjens admit to fault and wrong doing, I have for so long blamed others for my problems

I finnaly have taken actions for my harssment, stress and absue. Im sorry for lashing out at christan and others who have tryed to help me and for my abuse to others, misbehaviour and harassing and threatening.

I have finally taken actions for my abuse, probelms and harassemnt and hate crimes against me

Tonight I called the houston police dept and ffiled a report

date 11/20/06 location 2700 s kirkwood

INCIDENT Case # 179305506Y & 179311606G

Criminal Mischif / INV Homicide

Officer R.M. Hunt 20g31k

I am not trying to prove anything, I finnaly have a letter from my theripist and have sought more help and am starting to attend a Hate Crimes Theripist and seek professional help and counceling further (psyc) and continue my counceling at montrose counceling center.

I have started agenroy and started transitioning and liveing as my true-inner self.

I understand more why you wanted me to continue conceling and seek more professional help, I welcome to share any and all records from the montrose counceling center, I would like if possible to offer to make ammends which I know is diffcult and if you do not wish to do so I understand. I also understand more that complaining did not get me anywhere, Ive taken ACTION to start seeking help and justice for those that have hurt, me abused, me I share blame for my suituition. I also do have some anger toward you I felt abondoned and mistrusted.

I understand if you dont belive me the report is a public document, I dont have anything to hide and invite you to obtain a copy

1200 travis 23rd floor

reports available 7-10 days mon-fri 7am-6pm 713-308-8585

I understand also If ive dug myself so deep I would never be welocomed again, I ask for forgiveness. and honestly with some of the crap I pulled it would be awakward and uncomfortbale for me to attend. I tend to self-distruct relationships and distrust most people and authroity figures (Law Enforcement, Security, Managers, etc) Based on my upbringing and trust being hurt before. I have some issues to work out, I feel ashmed for my actions toward you Im sorry.

I honestly wish for help and support even if not on the level I shared with you before. It would be awakward but I would like to come to some mutial agreement or working something out if possible.

I would like some sort of responce, I am takeing steps to rectify and imporve upon myself. I thank you for trying to help me, but you cant help those who dont help themselves, comeing out to my family friends and loved ones was the hardest thing I had to do.

Ive lost many people and share more and more with others I dont have fear about myself, or actions Im learning and discovering my true self. I thank you for trying to help me. I feel sorry for my stupidity and poor actions and further diging myself deeper in the grave with You (Christain) HACS & the houston transgender community and general population in general.

where Im from police corruption is high, elected officals are dirty and bribes are under the table every day. thats explains my distrust for authority and the legal system in general. Ive done some things, Im out to most people in my life, or past most have even disowned me. things went bad for me in some ways better in others. Some other things are ive even goten over my mormonism issues and accepted myself more, and even came out to church members (i have more and more understanding of transgenderism and liveing and abuse and mistreatment as such and hate and liveing rather than existing)

I open myself and wish to try to work something out now or in the future, if possible things are better for me spirtualy but in other ways are not.

Thank You

Lee M.G.

:-)

11/20/2006: Email Contact

Date:	Mon, 20 Nov 2006 05:02:41 -0600
From:	"McInnis Lee Gaetjens" <mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com> Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by gmail.com. Learn more
To:	"Christan Williams" <gypsyrose1972@yahoo.com>, "John Koeppen" <jkoeppen@hacstxs.org>
Subject:	Re: Houston Police

I came here for help, the honest truth I have diffcultly asking or seeking help and have had diffcultly accepting myself, Im out to my family, extended family etc, they are semi supportive or supporive but confused i suppose. I came here to houston by choice, yes my area was a desister area, I only sustaned minor damage to my liveing 11 INCHES minor giuve some at 3feet - 20 feet of water some with oil and other hazards in their house or property,

I admit I chose houston for its large transgender population, etc.

I wasnt ready for hacs, things are going for me I do have some issues, as a result of my non action, debit, un-employment, drinking, and possibly being homeless.

I have issues to work out Ive taken steps to work for them, I havent repsented myself, or the transgender comminity well as a whole, Im takeing steps to rectity them.

The truth is when I wrote that letter I was angry, sick and hurting. I have suffered depression and nightmares and constant fear as a result of my abuse. I also have done things and further cut myself off as a public embrassment to the transgender communi.

I wish for help. Its diffuclt for me to ask or seek help. But ive accepted myself. I fiannly took action even if late, Im angry about the way I acceoted myself, drinking, depression, my hand injury, follish choices, risk takeing, wanting to be arrested, jailed, etc

I accept myself more and more and understand myself more and more, every day is progression and more accepting and understanding and pride and liveing myself more and more.

Im not the best person or example, but I strive and would like your assiatnce in improveing myself, I do have serious issues that need to be addressed. I'm sorry for my poor actions and if it would make you feel better Im willing to even if necessary admit guilt publicly, Im a deeply honest person and my honesty and intergity was and has been a huge part of me, I admit im also dishonest at times, out of fear, shame, guilt and embarassment. But I dont steal and I dont resort to crime im generally a peaceful person.

I want to accept whatever you choose to do for my actions and stupidity, I want to make ammends I know it may not be instant but I wish to work something out or some sort of mutuial agreement.

I have been neieve and stupid. I am to trusting, desprate for relationships but self sabitonige them by being hurt by trusting people, Im so desprate sometimes i trust anyone or those who hurt me, I do sometimes put myself in dangerous suitutions, I do stupid things (The E-mail) basicly I need and want help ive taken steps to do things I did the right thing the thing chirstian and many others tryed to get me to do.

11/9/2006: Email Contact

Date:	Thu, 9 Nov 2006 01:52:24 -0600
From:	"McInnis Lee Gaetjens" <mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com> Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by gmail.com. Learn more
To:	"Christan Williams" <gypsyrose1972@yahoo.com>
Subject:	rsvp

We will be having a Thanksgiving Potluck set for November 13th,
located at 2520 Morgan @ Pacific from 7-9pm. Please, if you are
attending this function, do add to the list what you will be bringing.
2 ar 15s with 100000 rounds of spare ammo
2 ak47s with 25000 rounds of spare ammo
1 suit of body armor
2 45 cal hand guns with 12 spare clips
2 9mm handguns with 20 spare clips
12 lbs of c-4
and a case of tnt
and a few smoke bombs
a baseball bat
moltovlu cocktails
a 12 gauge pump action shotgun with 200 extra rounds
some fireworks
plenty of mace and pepper spray for everyone to enjoy the effects of

and a happy thanksgiveing and new year and hell for all

11/7/2006: Email Contact

Date:	Tue, 7 Nov 2006 18:36:34 -0600
From:	"McInnis Lee Gaetjens" <mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com> Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by gmail.com. Learn more
To:	"Christan Williams" <gypsyrose1972@yahoo.com>
Subject:

Ive done wrong, I admit faul could I have another chance on your website?

--
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016 & (713) 787-9330
McInnis Lee Gaetjens "Beautiful Scars"
Attn: Lee M.G.
P.O. Box 421432
Houston, TX 77242-1432L

10/31/2006: Email Contact

Date:	Tue, 31 Oct 2006 05:17:43 -0600
From:	"McInnis Lee Gaetjens" <mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com> Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by gmail.com. Learn more
To:	"Christan Williams" <gypsyrose1972@yahoo.com>
Subject:	transhouston.com / shoutbox

The truth is i abused the TOS often. I did go wrong. do you not even want me visiting anonmously sometimes or even geiting links and resocues on the site?

I can access and do from a dynimcia ip, wireless data mobile, wifi hotspots, coffee shops, librarys and even office networks or unsecured wireless access points are even with neighbors bluetooth phones

--
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016 & (713) 787-9330
McInnis Lee Gaetjens "Beautiful Scars"
Attn: Lee M.G.
P.O . Box 421432
Houston, TX 77242-1432L

10/31/2006: Email Contact

Date:	Tue, 31 Oct 2006 03:19:41 -0600
From:	"McInnis Lee Gaetjens" <mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com> Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by gmail.com. Learn more
To:	"Christan Williams" <gypsyrose1972@yahoo.com>
Subject:	re: shoutbox

Im sorry for what I said was wrong about the fat, pork and steak things.

I have had a bad week or past few weeks. and I lost it. People used to say things like that to me.
for all I know one day I could be fat again and called gordo or whatever. It was wrong. I lost it and just started ranting and raveing
I did go out of my way to be nasty, rude and hateful.

When I was in the shoutbox the other day, I lost it I picked a fight I was pretty pissed off and bitchy.
I cant change my prior actions or past. and I try to accept the results of my actions yesterday in the shoutbox I wanted to offer and aplogy for my actions, Im sorry at least foward this to shadow. I accept I admit i still lurk on your site sometimes from libarys, celluar modems and coffee shops and wifi points.

I was wrong Im in some of the best shape Ive been in my life. I said really rude, hatefl, and nasty and even psyco things.
I was pissed at the world and someone or a bad past few weeks, my enconter with the police and my auto accident set me off.
I lost it I lost control. Im sorry. the truth is Im too embarsed for my actions even if I was welcomed back or to the meetings to show my face even inthe montrose area of late. I suffer in my soul.

I suffer knowing I was raped here, I tryed to go foward but didnt. I was hurt. I was raped on compnay time at work. I cant prove it. they hassle me occsionly. I was outed. I accepted myself and started being myself and contune to evlove on my own out of pain and abuse I suffered and being forced to accept myself given my stress it brings me more comfort being myself or starting to find myself.

I allowed others to hurt me by not takeing actions, now im no longer there some were caught stealing others left becuase I;m not there to be tormented.

I hurt a lot. I burn in my soul. I was brought out of the closet not my choice but by a sexual harassment investgation.
I have started lieving as lee 98% of the time. Im more comfortbale with myself, I even have a bathroom letter from MCC.
I had a bad public bathrom exp where I wasnt allowed the unsex or any bathrooms. yet employees used it. It was horrible.

I work on the present or try to but Im so depressed or hurt by things that ahppend or crreutn just bad luck, ploce, auto acctident, finance problems, water leak flooded apartment etc

I lashed out and was wrong. I accepet the actions. I was in the shoutbox for well I wanted to talk or share this.

I dont expect even if my account was reaciveated or was welocmeing back into the group to even be able to bring myself to come, ive furthered some opntions about me and I'm a public embarassment as lee.

Thats my feelings, Im sorry I was out of my way to be hateful, yet im hated every day and somewhat insecure myself, Ive been fat old and even looked like twice my age. Im sorry for praying on someones insecurity and weight and possble health probelems

--
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016 & (713) 787-9330
McInnis Lee Gaetjens "Beautiful Scars"
Attn: Lee M.G.
P.O. Box 421432
Houston, TX 77242-1432L

10/30/2006: Email Contact: Response to notice that his behavior on my outreach site was unacceptable, Note that he mentions people here that he states on 3/4/08 that he will travel to Houston and kill.

Date:	Mon, 30 Oct 2006 06:28:39 -0600
From:	"McInnis Lee Gaetjens" <mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com> Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by gmail.com. Learn more
To:	"Christan Williams" <gypsyrose1972@yahoo.com>
Subject:	re: transhouston.com

>ere is the deal: I know that some of you ranker against censorship at the same time, when the need arises within to use this board as if it were made to >facilitate a need to flame, then I will delete or edit your posts.

If your post's intent if to belittle or berate, or if the purpose of your post is to support that last little closing line that is meant to irk another, then guess what… you are flaming and it will be deleted or edited
Your right I was out of line. The truth is I admit to fault. I admit Im wrong. I also admit I further some peoples opnions about me by contininueing to hassle and generally bring bickering amongst our selves as a miniorty

I admit perosnal faults for my actions. I also admit honestly I dont think I would have any desire to return to the groups even after I work on myself. To do so would be personally uncomforting and awakward.

Im a jerk, asshole, bitch, lier, and bad person. I have been hurt before. I distrust people, government and authority figures. I was abused. Im not useing that as an excuse. Maybe sometimes in my own way I self- destory interpersonal relationships, out of fear, hate and depression and sadness and inner pain out of gorwing tired of being, used, abused and taken advange of.

I have such a big heart as you have seen at the meetings, i give to others before myself. I bring things. I allow others to use me. to hurt me. Im trusting and outgoing and friendly others exploit that for money, friendhsip and perosnal gain.

Im used often and abused. I have diffculty forming inner perosnal relationships, friendships other than profesisonal relationships. Im lonely out of choice. My work life and home in my family. My cat was my family and loved me as I loved him.

I hurt often my soul aches and my heart burns. I feel as a failure as a perosn and an individual in some aspects and a sucess in others. I live for stress and dramma and pain. I like on the go. I like it becuase it keeps me moveing. Im not lazy, I work ahrd for what I do where I have been and where I want to go.

\Others questioned my transgenderism which for the most part have had an idea of where im going and how to get there just no self acceptance. ve accepted more and more evry day. I hurt and suffer daily. Yes I admit im depressed, unhappy and even sucideial but Have no desire to cary out those actions I deal with those actions with perosnal writeing, poetry, and religion. I have anger and rage at those who hurt me and abused me.

I am angery at the fact John, Enrique, Victor, Carl, elmadean abused me and mistreated me growing up In High School, jumped me every day after school and even at walmart, going home to my apartment complex, etc

even a few others I suffer from my pain. I have much anger at them I also admit I have wanted to hurt them but again deal with my anger through writeing, poetry and religion.
I would never hurt them or myself. I try to find room in my heart to forgive them. I probbly could but would not feel comfortbale alone or with anything other than as an aquaintance

I give to others, Im a compassionate person. I give my time, money and life to causes before I do much for myself. honestly I have been a materialistc person in the past.
honestly now ive done things for myself Its all or nothing now for me lee mg

If you have questions about what constitutes a flame, go here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flaming

>If you your level of person development requires that others extend to you both the permission and ability to intentionally seek to cause another to suffer >through your ability to bang out terse platitudes on your keyboard, then mature a little and then come back to this community. If you have questions about >the standards of conduct expected from users of this site, read the TOS.

You have every right to ban me and not allow me to come here. I have been lurking briefly. I also think you know that. Its your website. You pay the domain fees, the hosting fees, you code this site. You have a disclaimer on here. You make the rules youre the big boss lady.

I admit that everyone – even me – has off days where we are all about being bitchy (it's the reason that the forums are now moderated by 3 different people!). That's OK cuz' a supportive community doesn't boot folk to the side just cuz' their human. However, each community, whether virtual of physical, has boundaries. Transhou has banned folk for choosing to purposefully and consistently annoy, belittle and shame others.

I was wrong In my actions I continue to be wrong. I understand if Im never to be welcomed here or at the meetings again. I accept my actions. and honestly Im embarassed of myself even If I was welcomed I dont think I would come or ask for help.

>My goal for transhouston is that it will continuously work towards:
>
>+ Sharing resources;
>+ Working together to expand our current resource base in the real world;
>+ Remembering what it is like to suffer at the hands of others and therefore choose to support each other in beneficial ways;
>+ Calling each other on our BS is supportive, no-brutal ways;
>+ … And generally creating a positive creative environment that supports it's own community members (cuz' FOR DAMN SURE – if we don't know one >else in this whole wide world will!)

>So, please ya'll… this in mind. I know it is easy to be shitty, but did you really want to grow up to be a shitty person? Please, choose to help support each >other through all the crap we have to deal with already. K?

Im sorry. I push people away from me. I generally distrust 90% of people given the crap Ive delt with. Ive trusted people before and they have hurt me. after I left wal-mart the people who were harssing me got caught stealing or left and moved on they complained about the job but loved tormenting me, given im gone and I time my comeings and goings well at my place they dont have any reason to stay there.

I distrusted my theripiast for the longest. Ive really made some good progress. I am a embaressment to the local community. Myself. I bring dishonor to the community, myself, my family, and my roots and upbringing.

Ive made some progress. I do lurk on the site but dont spam. If you dont even want me lurking. I wont anymore. I honestly do feel pain for my actions. I feel pain for what I did what I continue to do. Im a bad person, or rather my actions reflect me as a bad person.
I dont know why I self-distruct postive relationships. I did loose It I saw someone on the shoutbox I thought was someone else. I picked a fight. I had a bad week and a half. I lost it. I continued to come back in anger of being bannned for the site. I was childish and imature in my actions.

I do have a heart and I'm a generally good person. I dont like the fact some don't respect me as a individual. I Don't feel respected in some ways. Yes Im redneck. maybe I dont fit in. I didnt fit in and was hassled and absued as a child. I leanred for the mast 7-10 years of my life to fit in. I never growing up did a lot of my macho things. I self taught myself. Back home in harvey, la. My life reminded me somewhat Like King of the Hill. I lived next door to hank hill, I had dale across the street from me, the asain guys next door, the black guy across the street and I was boonhimer and we had the drunk guy down the street. the guy next door to me don whos like hank hill his father in law remined me like hanks father in law. I relate deeply to that show.

I never growing up had a very bad childhood somewhat abusive and unloveing. I see myself in someways of adult hood becomeing like my mother

10/26/2006: Email Contact: Response to notice that his behavior on my outreach site was unacceptable.

Date:	Thu, 26 Oct 2006 12:54:31 -0500
From:	"McInnis Lee Gaetjens" <mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com> Add to Address Book Add Mobile Alert Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by gmail.com. Learn more
To:	"Christan Williams" <gypsyrose1972@yahoo.com>
Subject:	community?

what community. Your right Im throwing a fit. I wont anymore.

Truth be told I wont be part of this "Community" here in Houston much Longer. So I Care not but I call a truce and cease fire of throwing a fit

Also even if I were to remain in this community. I dont know how I would feel nin the future. Yes I was wrong, Yes I Have done wrong. No I dont have any desire at the present to fuck with you or anyone else or your website.

My anger is over my fit is over. I took my anger out on the wrong people. Im wrong I admit being wrong. I was selfish and childish.

I would hope at some point in the future I could rejoin and my files and records could be backed up / and / or restored.

Honestly I have though zero desire to return or be a part of your coumminty in general Im happy alone at this point at thats how I shall stay. I honestly admit wrong. Im a jerk, an asshole, Im pissed off at the world. I take my anger out on those that try and help me. I generally distrust authority figures.

I was pissed about something else. someone else on the site set me off and I snapped. I admit fault to some. I admit im insecure. I admit I do stupid things. I admit im a jerk, creep, asshole, dumbass, psycho bitch etc

I admit I want to call a truce. and Stop. and I shall.

--
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016 & (713) 787-9330
McInnis Lee Gaetjens "Beautiful Scars"
Attn: Lee M.G.
P.O. Box 421432
Houston, TX 77242-1432L

10/25/2006: Email Contact: Note after he was banned from transhouston.com for the first time

Date:	Wed, 25 Oct 2006 10:36:29 -0500
From:	"McInnis Lee Gaetjens" <mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com> Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by gmail.com. Learn more
To:	gypsyrose1972@yahoo.com
Subject:	Re: the list

realisticlty good luck keeping me out!

10/25/2006: Email Contact: Note after he was banned from transhouston.com for the first time

Date:	Wed, 25 Oct 2006 10:24:02 -0500
From:	"McInnis Lee Gaetjens" <mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com> Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by gmail.com. Learn more
To:	gypsyrose1972@yahoo.com
Subject:	the list

Im sorry. I was wrong I accept the ban But you can never totaly ban someone such as myself

Im a pretty slick person

You never even as others thought or admited I was just as you called me a HE yourself in your text below. You win.

I hope you rot in hell one day you will feel sorry for abandoning me. Ive done a lot. Id like another chance I lashed my anger out wrong

is there any humanity in you?

Wed » Cristan » I work really hard to provide our community a safe and supportive place to meet, have some fun and share ideas. Lee went WAY out of his way to try to hurt others through flaming – and I mean… raunchy flaming – and on me front page! No way! Not to mention that Shadow is my girl and nobody is gonna talk like that to her if I have any say in it!

Wed » Shadow » Maybe we can recover some of the members we lost because of him

Wed » Shadow » Huzzah

Wed » Cristan »

Wed » Cristan » Lee was banned

Wed » Cristan » Grashppr – if that happens, just click the "sign out" link to clear any old cookies and then sign back in : )

Wed » Shadow » Lee. You stepped over the line today. Don't think I will forget it

Wed » Grashppr » has my membership been revoked without my knowledge?? LOL

Wed » Grashppr » I can't sign in....says invalid info...go figure. so I guess I will have to post another time.

Wed » Chris » when it gets to the point of insults...it pisses me off

Wed » Chris » hi gras

Wed » Grashppr » Lee needs to can it or get out!!! I am tired of his mindless rants as well.

Wed » Grashppr » I agree completely....

Wed » Chris » besides...let things said MONTHS ago..die

Wed » Chris » If you have a problem with so

--
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016 & (713) 787-9330
McInnis Lee Gaetjens "Beautiful Scars"
Attn: Lee M.G.
P.O. Box 421432
Houston, TX 77242-1432L

10/11/2006: Email Contact

Date:	Wed, 11 Oct 2006 10:38:17 -0500
From:	"McInnis Lee Gaetjens" <mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com> Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by gmail.com. Learn more
To:	gypsyrose1972@yahoo.com
Subject:	HACS Question?

I signed a releash with my theripsit I gave her your direct number. I would like to come back on a trial bais with firm ground rules. Im willing to listen. be less attentinow whoreish. and I obviously have some questions and seek advice with aspects of my life.
Lee

--
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016 & (713) 787-9330
McInnis Lee Gaetjens "Beautiful Scars"
P.O. Box 421432
Houston, TX 77242-1432

10/09/2006: Email Contact

Date:	Mon, 9 Oct 2006 17:08:17 -0500
From:	"McInnis Lee Gaetjens" <mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com> Add to Address Book Add Mobile Alert Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by gmail.com. Learn more
To:	"Martie Smith" <MSmith1551@aol.com>, "Dan L Gay" <danlgay@hotmail.com>, "Martin Clark Gaetjens" <sfyankee@berkeley.edu>, cwilliams@hacstxs.org, webmaster@transhouston.com, webmistress@transhouston.com, gypsyrose1972@yahoo.com
Subject:	my confession

My Life Story and daily thoughts
I was born with brain damage at birth. My Left fronal lobe was damaged. I Have some diffuclt with life and dealing with people becuase fo this. Ive been unhappy with myself from Child Hood. form abouit age 5 to age 7 I had in idea of being TG from age 13 onward I understood more. In my adulthood. I understood more and more feared my family. Im semi dependant on. I told them

I live my life. I right now feel more dykeish or tomboyish slightly fem. I feel and have intesret in gothic culture. my current jewelry shows that. as well as my musical taste.

My mother kept me locked up at a early age. I had a bad child hood socialy even till I was an adult. I never really developed any socila skills or social edique. I have good business and professional social skills even from a customer service stand point. Personally my life is lacking or the know how.

My mother from a young age. Had parinoia, OCD, depression. It killed her. She died alone. In a house full of junk drinking with a heart attack A house in disrepaerr. She was a packrat & a Collecter and a obbssive shopper.

I feel myself faling into her footsteps. She was bad socialy. I want to be social, But I lack how to. I fear trusting and building relationships due to fear of ebing abused. I enjoy pain BDSM its diffcult for me to leave abuse. Im a passivisit, I procrastince, to the point of talking than doing. Now im doing as I said Im liveing my life as me.

Im happy but sad. I lack social or personal motavation. Im lonely. Im unhappy. Im uncertin of my future or even if Ill have a place to live. IM uncertin of life, Family.

Bill collecters call often. Im past due on creditcards. I had my identiy stolen but could not report such. I have fear and depression. I have lonelynesss. My mother was horrid socialy. She never let me live she was a overprotective burden. I'm socialy lacking. I have issues with dealing with my emotions. but I work on them.

I didnt allways know so much about cars or things. I learned I spend the past 10 years trying to fit in. I leanred a lot thorugh the internet and books. I do try to hard to socialy fit in, I dont know myself. bYes i Lie to fit in. But this is what Ive been so unhappy about. For once Im free. I have freedom. Im uncertin. I may even need transitional houseing and go else where to start over Im thinking portland, OR. I shall return in a few years possibly. Or at least come visit if I do that.

The suffer from my mothers death when I was 20. to Inner pain. To family aurguements. Im happy. Id like to go back to work. I hate not doing anything I want to work. I have done some applying. Most of my personal referances are though the LDS church. I have a few friends here but not many and no very close. I share more of myself on this site than I do with others though Im working more in thrapy.

ive worked on mannerisms. Those than dont like me. I like you. The truth is I have diffcultly this is taboo for me. I was active in passing GLBT hate before. I have pain inner scaring I got invoved only due to supress my darkest inner secret.

My pain scars. I never could trust drs or thrapisits. I did go though the LDS mormon church to cure me. They gave me shock therapy. Its bruatl and given my brain damage may have hurt me.

I hurt and sufffer with inner scars. I used to and still do somewhat but deal with them though poetry and writeing. I express my pain. I have sometimes momory loss and forget things. Im inmpulisve that is known to my barin damage.

I have trouble with logic, my mouth gets me in trouble. I need to shut the fuck up sometimes. Im a idiot and a public embarasssment to the community. Im sorry that I hurt. I for once accepted myself. My posting last night were due to a stress of 3 or 4 hours with my family on the phone. Looseing those I care about

To the person I enchanged email with. I was very upset last night. I didnt mean I didnt like you and I understand your reasoning, the truth is I wanted to call and talk I didnt know what to say or how to say.
I respct your wishs. Im going throgh a lot.

Im not even sure where ill live in th enxt 2 or so months. Im stupid. I want to be smarter Im dumb. Im a failure. I try to discover myself. Maybe I try to hard I talk a bit at the Posion Girl. people say my views and idilogy are more like a inner looper. Ive started to explore my self. I try to find myself., I go to the poletergist sometimes or chances or Numbers occasionly. I feel lonely. I dont drink very heavly anymore. I mostly drink bud light, near beer or diet soda or bottled water.

Im happyer, Im trying to trust more others. Im lonely, Im depressed, Im finding me alone. Going full time was diffcult. I fear but keep going toward myself. Im working on myself. I did this myself most things in life Ive done myself or figrued out on my own.

Im sorry. Im a public failure to the TG community. Im a burden. Im not welcome here. I need friends and support now more than ever. Others would have me run off. I think thats best I really dont want to go to a strange city But alas I have no choice. Im happyer im not sure.Im not going to let my family chnage my life. go after my trust fund theraten it or cutting me off.

Im me. It hurts me Being alone. I even want a friend. for once In my life I want a roomate. I want happyness. I like family. Id like even with what im doing to adopt or find a lady with a kid or so. I hurt I want someone in my life. I fear myself.

To the perosn I emailed last night. I didnt mean I didnt like you as a friend Im sorry I hurt you. I do like you as a friend. i can forguve those that hurt me. Im not comfortable alone with them or liveing with them.

I dont trust others due to abuse. Others use me for money or other things. I have a heart. I give to others before even myself. Id go hungry. I have fed homeless. Im a giveing perosn. Id give a jacket off my back when its cold for someone I care. Im compassionate.

mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016 & (713) 787-9330
McInnis Lee Gaetjens "Beautiful Scars"
P.O. Box 421432
Houston, TX 77242-1432